If you're looking for the riveting follow up to my post however long ago about that Terry Pratchett book - I didn't buy it.
I told myself I have to get my car legal first, and that's turned into a longer and more expensive process than I'd thought.
Anyway. I've been having some job feels again, and you're always so calm and patient with my neurotic inability to happily hold down any sort of gainful employment no matter how firm a grasp I feel I've gotten on this whole "being an adult" thing.
So. I am currently working at a used bookstore. I absolutely love the work and the people and the environment. The customers are great and very rarely are they pains in the asses. If I were the sort of person who could go to work, come home, keep house, cook dinner and go to bed with the satisfaction of a job well done, I'd be the happiest of campers.
But the problem is, I want to do so many other things. SO MANY. And this job, no matter how perfect, takes 35 hours a week (plus an hour each way for travel) away from my time to do those other things. And keep house (A JOKE). And cook dinner (WHO HAS THE TIME??). And still hang out with the friends I really care about.
I know, I know, there's never enough time.
But as someone who spent three years working from home, I can tell you it's a hell of a lot easier to make plans with your friends when one of you has a fairly open schedule.
Not to mention I still have that side business, making hoops, on top of the irl job, which takes even more time away from the things I really want to do.
Which right now mainly consists of making videos for YouTube and growing my channel.
Listen, LJ. I'm not complaining, not really. I am grateful to have a job I actually like, and not having to stress about finances is pretty blissful most of the time.
But I think when I told myself in the beginning that I could see myself working here until I retire from working forever, I think I was fooling myself.
But I'd like to work here as long as I can, while hopefully building up a nice income from YouTube. And maybe - one day being in the position where spending all that time at work is causing me to lose potential YouTube money.
Look, I know YouTube is a long shot. But I didn't know if I could get myself organized and motivated enough to build a sustainable Etsy shop, and I did that. It took several false starts, but once I decided to commit, I did it.
I have already had my several false YouTube starts. My attempts and failures have garnered me nearly 3,000 subscribers, which is more than a lot of would-be YouTubers have.
And now I've got the commitment behind it. I've committed to a video a week for a year, and I'm fifteen weeks in. I thought committing would be scary, but mostly I just find I'm wishing I had enough time to do two or three videos a week and grow faster.
My content is still pretty all over the map and disorganized, but I know if I keep doing it, I can make it a thing. I can make it not just a dream. I have already earned one $100 payout (which I got in 2015) and I'm less than $20 adsense dollars away from my second.
I am earning real money from it. Granted, it's drops in the bucket chump change compared to how much work I put in, but it's real money. And the work is fun. And I know if I keep at it, it will grow to be larger and larger amounts of money.
So here is my current plan: Get to where I'm earning enough money through YouTube that I can quit making hoops, thus freeing up a bit more time for videos. Then just keep growing the channel. Perhaps strategically schedule vacation days to have more time for making videos. And maybe, one day, quit in a blaze of YouTube glory.
Because I really fucking love my coworkers.
It's not a super elegant plan and it's not going to happen anytime soon probably, but just getting it out of my head and in the LJ archives helps it feel more real.
Follow your dreams, kids.
Even if they change every five god damn minutes.