I'm playing HabitRPG at the recommendation of emmainfiniti, and at first I found their suggestion of using a favorite TV show as a reward somewhat sadistic, but now I think it's not such a bad idea. Earning it would help me feel less guilty while I sit there watching.
Cut for spoilers, but MAN, I am not liking this "V" character. Taystee and Poussey's friendship is one of my favorite things about the show and watching her split them up is BREAKING MY FANGIRL HEART. (I'm only on episode six as of this post.) Okay, end spoilers.
I started to feel better toward the end of yesterday. I made myself do the dishes even though I didn't want to, and managed to successfully complete all of my HabitRPG dailies for the first time, so I felt a little more accomplished despite not doing a whole lot and feeling like poop for most of the day.
SO, I've been posting every day for a week now. I'm glad I decided to do this, because it's SO much more helpful than posting random thoughts to Facebook. Actually sitting down and coming up with something to say about my days is really helping me find an anchor again, even if not many people are reading.
And I've caught myself doing the thing I used to do back when LJ was my default go-to posting place, and that's posting little rants and short emotional/random updates as they happen. Posting rants on Facebook usually ends with me feeling more pissed off than before, but posting to LJ gives me a space to rattle off my thoughts, and they might be seen, or they might not.
I really don't know how Facebook has gotten to be the sort of place that makes me feel anxious to post and talk. It's not like there's never been drama on LJ. There has, and lots of it, I've participated in plenty of it. But for whatever reason, LJ feels less hateful than FB. Less judgey. Like, you can post things here without a political agenda and have an actual conversation. I don't know if that's because the different platforms lend themselves to different styles of conversation, or because the people that use LJ and FB have shaped them to be those sorts of places. Maybe it's a combination of both.
Anyway, I'm grateful for you, LJ. I'm glad you're still around.