Your Face (kandigurl) wrote,
Your Face


Despite my post the other day (which didn't make it to LJ due to the whole site-not-loading-properly-for-a-while thing) about not stressing out so much about self-help books, I keep reading the things. I'm addicted, I think. My Paperback Swap wishlist has become 90% self-help, most of those books involving how to be happy, how to be healthy, but of greatest concern to me, how to make a living doing what I love.

Because, you see, I'm struggling to figure out what, exactly, that is. It seems like I love a lot of things, and my passions leap from thing to thing, and the end of the day comes and I feel like I'll never figure out what it is that makes me want to get out of bed in the morning.

This past week, I had an interview at a job that I know, I KNOW I don't want. I got up at ass in the morning and went to two interviews for this job. How do I know I don't want said job? Because I spent the day in between the two interviews stressing myself to pieces about how miserable it would make me and I didn't even have it yet. I'm pretty sure I botched the second interview bad enough to not get it (more on that in a post coming soon), but the experience has me hitting the books again with vigor.

The books all say to take what you love and do it with passion. I was sitting there reading the intro tonight to a book called Making a Living Without A Job and rolling over what the heck it is that I love and how to turn it into something I can actually do.

I know this for sure, I want to blog. The question has always been, what the hell do I blog ABOUT? At first I thought it might be personal improvement, but given that my own personal improvement ebbs and flows, there would be times (much like right now) that I wouldn't want to blog about it. What then?

I seem to spend all of my free time looking at other people's fabulous self-made careers and wondering how to replicate them. I can't tell you how many amazing and interesting people I've discovered, seen what they do, envied it, and tried to copy it.

IT NEVER WORKS. Why? Because what they do is not what I want to do. So I go and read books, trying to figure out how to do what I want to do. How to figure out what I want to do so I can do it.

And then the answer sort of fell on top of me like a pile of bricks made of duh.

I love investigating alternate ways of living. I love exploring other people's unique and interesting careers. Every time I pick up a hobby, it's either because I want the lives of the people who do it full time, or I track down people who do it full time and immediately decide I want their lives. It's not the THINGS necessarily, it's the PEOPLE.

WHY THE HELL CAN'T MY BLOG BE AN EXPLORATION OF PEOPLE WHO MAKE INTERESTING LIVINGS??? WHY THE HELL CAN'T MY BLOG OBSESS OVER THE THING I LOVE TO FUCKING OBSESS OVER??? The stuff I never blog about because I always thought I was looking for answers in it, when really, I'm just enjoying the shit out of the information? A blog like that could go in so many different directions, all of them interesting to me, all of them open to change when I find something new that fascinates me because surely someone's out there doing it.

I already even started doing it a little with the "Inspired by Awesome" posts, which could have been better if they came from the bend of just celebrating the unique life-style rather than looking for the self-help lessons in the middle of it.

Also, it's the perfect answer to the "how the fuck do I blend the two sides of my personality, the tree-hugging hippie and the meme-loving Internet nerd?" SIMPLE. BY TALKING ABOUT PEOPLE WHO DO BOTH. And since I am a person who definitely lives life outside the box, I can still post personal posts when the mood strikes.

God, I'm such a MORON. This was the most obvious answer in the WORLD, HOW COME NONE OF YOU THOUGHT OF THAT FOR ME?

SO. I've decided this is the direction I'm taking my blog in. I'm looking for a title for the blog, because I suck at titles. So far I've got "What The F**k Should I Do For A Living?" But it seems rather long and not fully encompassing the spirit of the thing. My other idea is "People Are Awesome". I'd appreciate titling help if you guys have any ideas.

I also want to know if this seems as obvious to you guys as it now does to me. Can you think back into my posts and see how this makes a lot of sense? I mean, I spend an AWFUL lot of time making posts like, "GOD LOOK HOW AWESOME THIS PERSON IS WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF WHAT THEY DID SO BRILLIANT I'M GOING TO TRY TO REPLICATE IT NOW".

Okay, I should probably quit typing so Green can sleep without me typing away. But YES. I FEEL GOOD ABOUT THIS AND I ALREADY HAVE A ZILLION IDEAS AND I'M SO EXCITED TO GET UP TOMORROW MORNING AND WORK ON THIS AND...isn't that how all the books say it's supposed to go?

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