That is how I feel about blogging.
I feel like, deep in my heart, somewhere in my spleen, maybe, I could be a REALLY GOOD BLOGGER. I feel like this is TRUE. I mean, I've been livejournaling for goddamn ever and sometimes I go back and read posts I made five years ago and I'm like "OH MY GOD I'M SO FREAKING HILARIOUS AND AWESOME I LOVE MYSELF." (Of course I sometimes go back and read posts from a couple of days later and I'm like, "MY GOD WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU WHINING ABOUT SHUT UUUUUUUUUUUUP" but usually it's the first reaction because I'm SO FREAKING HILARIOUS AND AWESOME. And I love myself.)
And when I have an office job, or any job that lets me come anywhere near the Internet, do you know what I do? I POST EIGHT BILLION TIMES A DAY until it's time to go home.
And do you know what I do when I'm at HOME and I have NOTHING TO KEEP ME FROM POSTING/BLOGGING? I don't post. Or blog.
WHAT IS THE DEAL THERE. SERIOUSLY.
So anyway, here are my issues with blogging and why I feel I am not a successful blogger and maybe if you have any TIPS for me and how to make PEACE with my issues I might give you an INTERNET COOKIE but mostly I just want to bitch and whine because seriously, this stresses me out way more than it should on a frequent basis, especially when I'm reading awesome blogs that I love.
OKAY. HERE GOES.
WHY I FEEL I AM NOT AN ACCOMPLISHED AND HIGHLY SUCCESSFUL BLOGGER, DESPITE BEING FREAKING HILARIOUS AND AWESOME, A LIST, BY ME, JESSICA WAGSTROM, A GIRL
1. Successful bloggers blog regularly and consistently. This is the most glaringly obvious one. I can't seem to make myself blog consistently. I either blog every second of every day, or I don't blog at all, and there is no rhyme or reason to what makes me stop.
2. Successful bloggers tend to have a THEME. Usually the blogs I like and the blogs I read are blogs that blog about generally the same subject matter every time. My interests swing so violently from one topic to the next that my posts are rarely thematically consistent. Plus, I could be REALLY OBSESSED with something and post about it for WEEKS or MONTHS, and then I get obsessed with something VASTLY DIFFERENT and want to post about nothing but that new thing and the people that were into my posts about the first thing are like, WHAT HAPPENED TO THE POSTS I WAS ACTUALLY INTERESTED IN.
This also causes me to want to create a zillion different blogs for all of the topics I'm interested in, but then I get overwhelmed by all the stuff I want to talk about and I never post to any of them.
3. Successful bloggers tend to have a cohesive tone. Their blogs are either humorous or serious. I CANNOT DECIDE. There are days when I want to post about how we are all one and the Universe is so powerful and we are all active manifesters of our own deep and insightful reality and we should all munch on a bunch of damn granola and all you need is love and isn't the way that bird soars through the sky the most beautiful thing ever and let's just go hug a tree.
And then there are days when I'm like HOLY CRAP DO YOU KNOW WHAT IS A FUNNY WORD, BOOBS. HAHAHAHAHAHAH BOOBS BOOBS BOOBS BOOBS BOOBS AND ALSO I LOVE DINOSAURS LOOK I PAINTED ONE ON MY WALL DO YOU WANT TO SEE IT IT LOOKS STARTLINGLY LIKE T-REX FROM DINOSAUR COMICS.
I have NO IDEA how to reconcile these two seemingly inconsistent aspects of myself and my writing style/tone into a cohesive blog that people will actually want to read regularly. I feel like when I'm being all insightful and serious, I'm letting down the people who came to my blog to read about dinosaurs and boobs, and vice-versa.
4. Successful bloggers don't ever seem to be on Livejournal. NONE OF THE BLOGS I LOVE AND READ REGULARLY ARE ON LIVEJOURNAL*. It seems like all the GOOD blogs are on Wordpress or Blogger or Blogspot or somewhere that has a MUCH LESS intuitive system for leaving comments, and Livejournal is relegated to the corner where the extreme nerds who have had LJs forever sit, whimper, watch their worlds dissolve into the omnipresent realm of Facebook status updates, and beg their friends to get Livejournals too, which said friends then proceed to never update. At least that's been my experience with LJ over the past couple of years.
HOWEVER, whenever I'm like, "TODAY IS THE DAY I'M GOING TO START A REAL BLOG", and I sign up for one of those other sites, all I can do is bitch to myself about how it ISN'T LIVEJOURNAL. I don't know if it's just because I've been using it forever, but posting and commenting in LJ just makes SO MUCH MORE SENSE than on those other sites. WHY WON'T ANYONE ELSE USE THREADED COMMENTS OH MY GOD. That alone drives me batshit bananas. But then when I'm like, "TODAY IS THE DAY I WILL START A REAL BLOG...ON LJ", I feel like I am not, in fact, starting a real blog, rather I am starting a FAKE BLOG. This could also be because I have never referred to my "work" on LJ as blogging. It's posting. Or updating LJ. Or LJing. It is its OWN MYSTERIOUS ENTITY THAT SEEMS TO EXIST OUTSIDE THE WORLD OF "REAL BLOGGING". (Please tell me I'm not the only one who feels this way.)
And then I fall into this abyss of neglecting both my "Fancy Blog" and my LJ because I feel like if I'm posting to LJ I'm not working on my "Real Blog" but I can't think of anything to post to that because all I want to do is update LJ with how frustrated I am. MUCH LIKE I'M DOING NOW.
5. I always feel like I'm copying. I will read a blog I love and think, "I WANT TO BLOG ABOUT THE SAME SHIT." But then I don't because I feel like I'm copying the blogs I love instead of coming up with my own brilliantly original content.
6. It seems like I'm only good at blogging when I'm avoiding doing something else. For example, right now I'm supposed to be reading a press release that Green wrote and instead of doing that, I'm reading blogs and falling into a deep depression about why I'm not a successful blogger yet. I've spent the past two hours doing things on his computer that are distinctly NOT reading the very short press release he wrote.
SO THAT'S IT. Those are the reasons I'm not a wildly successful blogger. I would love to hear if anyone has any suggestions or can at least empathize. LET'S HAVE A DISCUSSION IN THE HIGHLY INTUITIVE THREADED COMMENTS. HOORAY!!!!
*I am having a REALLY hard time typing "livejournal" for some reason. I've typed it "livejoranl" or some variation on that a billion times.