I was a teenage exaggerator.
"He was the hottest guy in the entire known cosmos!"
"I'm so hungry, I'm going to buy thirty-six pizzas and eat all of them."
Technically, none of these statements were true. But me, I was just trying to make you aware of how extra true they were. I wasn't the only one, either. My friends and I exaggerated all the dang time. The stupid part is how we didn't even realize it until somebody's mom pointed it out to us.
"You know, I don't believe that you will really and truly buy and eat thirty-six pizzas. I think perhaps you are stretching the truth."
It's ridiculous how big a revelation this was to me. Did I really exaggerate that much?
"If you give me a piece of gum, I will love you until the universe implodes in on itself!"
Yes. Yes I did. Because I found it hilarious, and I always felt that the point needed an extra bit of belaboring.
"I hate history so much. I want to find the guy who invented history and kill him. It makes me want to stab my face off with a spork."
You know, I don't think I actually wanted to stab my face off with a spork. But I really did hate history.
How much exaggeration does it take to turn the truth into a lie?
"I can't come to the party Saturday, I've got seven thousand papers to write."
Is it really that hard to just speak the truth?
"My backpack is breaking my back. These textbooks weigh about the same as a herd of elephants carrying anvils."
No, it's not, it's just not as funny.
And I mostly said these things to amuse myself.
"If this period doesn't end soon, I'm just going to throw the teacher out the window and leave."
I will admit, though, that I started catching myself and toning it down after the extreme amount of my exaggeration got pointed out to me.
Now that I'm all growed up, I don't do it so much anymore.
......That is an epically horrendous lie.
Thank you for reading the most interesting and thought provoking entry you will EVER ENCOUNTER. Have a lovely day!