"The Problem With Nikki's Wedding"
They'd planned this day for ages, and everything seemed to be going well enough.
Except for the huge T-Rex standing right where the ceremony was expected to take place in a mere twenty-four hours.
"It's not that I have anything against T-Rexes, as a general rule," Nikki sighed, "it's just that he's taking up an awful lot of space. I'm afraid there won't be room for the guests."
Sean nodded. "I, too, have similar concerns."
They gazed happily into each other's eyes. It was moments like this that Nikki knew she's made the right choice when it came to which man to spend the rest of her life with.
Paulette, the woman in charge of arranging their space for the day, felt the panic begin to rise. This was her first wedding, and things were supposed to be going so smoothly. Nobody had any back-up plan in place for a random T-Rex arrival.
"Um," she sputtered, wanting to keep her bride happy and hopefully also keep her job, "we are doing everything we can. I'm not entirely sure where he came from, to tell you the truth. Normally, we have no T-Rexes at all. Any dinosaurs at all, in fact. It's usually a jurassic-free zone." She was babbling. She knew it. And yet.
"I understand," Nikki said, empathizing with the poor woman. It must be difficult to be in charge of T-Rex removal.
"Maybe we could try reasoning with it?" Sean suggested.
Paulette found herself up for pretty much any suggestion at this point, even one as ridiculous as reasoning with a dinosaur. An extinct dinosaur, at that. One that really didn't have any right to be stomping around her gardens, given that it should actually be in tiny bone fragments buried below the Earth's surface. "That sounds good to me," she said, waving at the happy couple to follow her to the dinosaur in question.
Despite her general acceptance of T-Rexes, Nikki found that she was quite unprepared to actually stand face to face with one. Or, rather, face to area-just-above-the-big-toe. She and Sean gazed up at its majesty, taking it in.
"Well, here we are," Paulette said, wringing her hands a little. Being around the thing made her nervous for many reasons, not the least of which the fact that its very presence screwed with her reality. "I'll leave you to it." She made her way back across the grounds, while Nikki and Sean continued to stare.
"It's big," Sean commented.
"Very," Nikki agreed. "Maybe we could just drape some fabric over him and no one would even notice?"
Sean considered the idea. "I don't know, he's pretty obvious."
"How do we even know it's a 'he'?" Nikki pointed out.
"Good point. Let's ask it." Sean gingerly tapped the T-Rex's toe. "Excuse me!" he yelled upward. "We wish to speak to you!"
The T-Rex glanced down. "Oh!" it boomed, its voice so loud it was almost unbearable. "I didn't see you there. How are you?"
Nikki waved. "Hi! We're fine. Listen, we have a favor to ask you."
"Oh, really?" the T-Rex boomed back.
"First, are you a girl dinosaur or a boy dinosaur?" Sean shouted.
"I am a man!" The T-Rex replied.
Nikki patted Sean lovingly. "Anyway, the favor we need to ask is that...well, you see, we're going to get married here tomorrow, and we really need this space. This very space. The space you're standing on right now."
The T-Rex looked around, appraising the space. "Is that so?"
"It is so!"
Nikki tried not to get flustered. "It is fascinating, I guess. Anyway, we were wondering if maybe...you know...you could move."
The T-Rex snorted a little. "Move?"
"Right," Nikki said, nodding.
A deep sigh from the T-Rex. "It's just that I really like it here."
"I know, so do we, and it's just for one day. One hour, really! You would only have to take a couple of steps to the left. Hardly any effort at all." She smiled encouragingly, hoping the T-Rex would see it and be moved by her plea.
"The thing is, my feet are very big, and taking steps usually crushes things. This spot is so nice and open, and there's lots going on! Lots of people moving chairs and arranging flowers, it's very pleasant!"
Sean tried this time. "Right, they're doing that stuff to get ready for our wedding."
"Don't be hostile with him, Sean," Nikki said. "He could kill us just by stepping on us."
Sean nodded. "True."
Nikki contemplated things. The situation could be a terrible one. Or, it could be an opportunity she had never considered. "I think I know a way we can compromise on this," she said. She whispered something to Sean. Sean smiled, nodding, agreeing that the plan was indeed a good one. "Go for it," he said.
"Okay!" Nikki yelled up into the sky at the towering dinosaur. "Here's the deal! If you will not move...would you like to officiate our wedding?"
The T-Rex thought about this. "What does that mean?"
"It means you will be in charge of marrying us. That way, you can stay where you are and everyone will think we meant for you to be here. Plus, I'm sure people will be grateful for the added shade."
The T-Rex attempted to clap his tiny hands. "That sounds like a fabulous idea! I would love to do this thing for you!"
They spent the rest of the day teaching the T-Rex how to do exactly that. And when the moment came, when Nikki gazed into Sean's eyes, and the time came to declare whether or not she wished to be with him forever, she knew they'd made the right choice.