Oh, and for those of you who do read Spinooti, (and for those of you who don't, you should) I am ChewBob, and I love Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Don't you forget it.
Ok, so what I really really REALLY want to figure out is, what is it about music that makes me want to get up and dance, and why does some music have that quality while other music sends me screaming for the door? And why do some people hate the music I love and find such meaning and depth of feeling in? I DON'T GET IT!!!!!! Ok, another thing I've always wondered is how do I decide what music it is that I fall in love with? See, I fall in love with a LOT of music. My cd collection? Probably rounding 250 by now, I haven't counted recently. And these are all really different types of music I've got here. People like to be dazzled by the fact that I own every Hanson album as well as almost every Korn album. And I don't even know what it is I like about Korn because by music standards which I used to hold but have since given up on, I should really hate them. The only one of these aforementioned standards is this: I still loathe country music. And here again, I don't know why.
I shamelessly enjoy fun music like Sugar Ray because it makes me happy. It doesn't make me think too hard about things that are bugging me. But sometimes, when things are really bugging me, I'll listen to songs that press my thoughts to the breaking point, and I'll eventually end up exploding in a fit of, "Why can't I just get the hell out of here" tears, aka: Alanis Morrisette's Jagged Little Pill album. Then when I just feel like FEELING, I'll listen to Elton John's "Yellow Brick Road" and "Tiny Dancer" and be happy because I have the privilege to hear such wonderful songs but at the same time sad because there's this feeling they give me that's impossible to describe, and it's like, if everyone could just listen to this song and feel the way I'm feeling right now, everything would be okay.
And then I want to write something like that, something great, something people can relate to, something that makes people feel okay, and I can't hit it. And sometimes I'll have this wonderful, perfect song all mapped out in my head, and I don't have time to get it down on paper and I lose it. Or I'll have these beautiful lyrics and I can't find a tune to match them, or I'll have this awesome tune but the lyrics never come. And then sometimes I just want to write SOMETHING, ANYTHING that will get me out of my living room and onto a stage where I can just sing and be heard. And that's really all I want is to sing.
Something I really really hate is artists who don't bother to write lyrics or music, and then don't even take the time to try to play them on instruments. You know who I'm talking about, it's the boy band and pop princess thing, *NSYNC and Britney Spears. Eeew. Just saying their names makes me twinge and shudder. It's like they don't put any emotion into their work and then they get credit for it and all this fame and glory that I long for. And sometimes, and I hate myself for this, sometimes when I just can't write that beautiful thing or that fabulous masterpiece, I just want to give up and let someone else do it for me, like they do, so I can get the hard part overwith and sing. But I don't think that very often, because I feel like if I'm going to sing, and I'm going to put the emotion into it, I have to write it myself and it has to be my own emotion. Oh well. I'm going to let that be all for now, because even though I have a lot more to say, I'm tired of typing. Bye!