Your Face (kandigurl) wrote,
Your Face

Glenn Beck is a Horrible Human Being (But I Still Love Him)

So, Glenn Beck does this thing every Valentine's Day called "Couple of the Year". He does it the day after Valentine's Day. It is SO AMAZING in concept, and SO HORRIBLE in practice.

You see, the day after Valentine's Day, he lets guys who failed to make their lady's V-Day special out of the dog house. If they call in and say how they messed up, Glenn will call their sweeties and tell them how their husband/boyfriend/what-have-you entered them in this "Couple of the Year" contest, which they won. He will then read them a Mad Lib-esque form letter, which is supposedly the "essay" the men wrote in order to "win". It goes something like this (I'm paraphrasing, but I heard it a billion times so this is pretty much it:)

"Dear Glenn,

I don't normally enter contests like this, but I had to tell you about my wonderful (wife/girlfriend). There's not another woman quite like (name of wife/girlfriend). I think at first I was just attracted to her (attractive body part), but it grew into so much more than that. I think I first realized I was in love the first time we (memorable date). Wow, what a perfect time that was. What I love most about her is (something you love), which is like no other woman in (your county). I could go on and on, but it would take up my time. I've got to get back to working for (job description and hours of job). Anyway, I don't know why everyone tries to make love so complicated. For me, it's very simple. I just love (name of wife/girlfriend)."

Then, when the woman was all in a fit of emotional tears, Glenn would ask the dude if he had anything to say to the chick. The man would then do as instructed per Glenn before ever calling the wife and say, "(Name), (5 second pause) I love you."

He did this the ENTIRE SHOW. At least ten times. To ten different women. AND THEY ALL FELL FOR IT. Even Glenn said he felt guilty about it.


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