The thing is, GLENN MOTHERFUCKING* BECK is going to be signing his ENLIGHTENING NEW BOOK (which totally beat out Colbert's book on the New York Times best seller's list the first week it was out) in FRIGGEN' DALLAS TEXAS ON SATURDAY.
What I'm saying here is, I'm going. WHAT SHOULD I CRAFT FOR HIM OUT OF DUCT TAPE AS AN EARLY CHRISTMAS GIFT? THIS IS A VERY IMPORTANT QUESTION. I AM TAKING SUGGESTIONS.
It is from 11 to noon at the Barnes and Noble at THIS ADDRESS:
7700 W Northwest Hwy
Dallas, TX 75225
I AM PUMPED ABOUT THIS
PUMPED ENOUGH FOR LIBERAL CAPSLOCK USEAGE
EDIT: Man, he is beating the PANTS off Colbert on Barnes and Noble's best seller list! (I have absolutely nothing against Colbert's book, in fact, I really want to buy it, too, I just love Glenn more and beating Colbert is kind of like his little benchmark even though that book has been out way longer and he needs to feel special somehow. I <3 YOU GLENN)
*I sincerely doubt that Glenn Beck actually fucks mothers. Well, the mother of his children, but...you know...they're married.