I keep listening to this song: and crying for SEVERAL reasons, one because I am an enormous dweeb, two because I keep thinking about how Ike had a pulmonary embolism right after the concert Tuesday and is, last I heard, in the hospital and I REALLY, REALLY hope he's okay, three because it's such a damn moving song and what they are doing for those kids in Africa is so fucking cool. I wish I'd bothered to check out hanson.net and read about the whole "walk" thing before, so that I could have done it with them.
See, when recording the album "The Walk", they visited Africa and are now all about raising awareness for the AIDS/HIV there. Before each of their concerts on this tour, they're announcing where they are going to walk three hours prior. Then, anyone who wants to can show up and walk a mile barefoot with the band, just to "take the first step", as it were, in doing something to help. Then the walkers get to jump the line for the show, and get in first.
They're also encouraging people to buy shoes from Tom's Shoes because for every pair you buy, they send a free pair to someone in Africa. I am SERIOUSLY considering skipping work on the 26th to go down to their Houston show and walk with them, provided Ike is feeling better. Because it's just such an inspired, unique, and BAD-ASS idea.
Anyway. The album is amazing, and in case anyone is wondering, this is the song that made me cry at the show:
Even though I'd never heard the song until that night, I found tears pouring down my face at the end of it. First off, IT IS ZAC AND HE IS ALL BIG NOW. MARRIED AND SHIT. Secondly, you know how I've been making all those posts in my emo journal about love and how I don't feel it anymore? That song? Made me feel it. Maybe it was just the fact that I was at a Hanson concert, watching these guys I loved so intensely sing about love. I thought about how the critics said, back when Middle of Nowhere came out, that such young kids shouldn't write songs about love when they don't really know what it means to love? But I always connected with them, their songs about love, and the emotion they put into it. And it's basically a guy saying, "Listen, I love you, but if you want to go, you're free to go. If you want to stay, that's cool too, but if you need to, go." Oh man. It hit me. Hit me hard. This battered heart opened up all over the place and spilled sappy, mushy tears like nobody's business.
So, between this concert and my recent chat with Drew, I've realized something: Just because I have a full-time job, I'm not stuck. The job isn't the problem. The problem is I'm not DOING anything else. I'm going from work, to yoga, to wherever I'm crashing that night, and nowhere else. Just driving to Dallas and seeing a concert was something that set me in motion. Maybe, just MAYBE, I wouldn't feel so lost and empty if I got out and did stuff.
So, I'm going to try to DO something every Friday. I don't have yoga on Fridays, so I have more time after work to do stuff. I'm thinking of going to shows in Dallas, even if I don't know who's playing, at the smaller venues. Going to museums. Shit, even going to see a movie or something, just not going straight home. Anyone who wants to come with me is more than welcome!
Aaaand...that's all I got for now. I AM CHOCK FULL OF EMOTION RIGHT NOW, GUYS, AND IT FEELS GREAT.