To continue on for as long as I'm not bored with it. Updated as often as the whimsy strikes.
I totally forgot what's going on here because you never update.
I just can't stand it. The fury is building in my spleen. Drizt has gone too far this time. He's taken the one piece of mail I was most excited about reading today and destroyed it right in front of me. Without really thinking about what I'm doing, I pull my hand back into a fist. It erupts with all the venom of a poisonous-erupting-thing, and lands square on Drizt's left cheek.
"Ow!" He cries, grabbing his face pathetically. "Joey, what the hell did you do that for?"
How can he even ask that? After what he just did? "Drizt, I got a letter, a letter someone obviously cared enough to certify, and you destroyed it! It's just not fair!"
"Well, I thought we decided to be destiny-free from now on!"
"How would me going on another adventure even begin to affect you?" I fume.
"Because it always does! I end up getting kidnapped by llamas and tortured or kidnapped by crazy witches and tortured! I don't really want to be tortured anymore!"
While Drizt's point is valid, I still want to know what was in that letter. I fall to the floor and scrabble around, trying to pick up the pieces of my fallen correspondence. But I haven't picked up two shreds when every piece of it explodes.
"Oh yeah," Drizt says, "It said at the end there that it would self-destruct."
I glare at him, still sitting on the floor, now with a few burn marks on my hands from the scorched paper. "Why didn't you feel the need to mention that to me?"
"Well, I don't know, what with the searing pain in my cheek, it kind of slipped my mind."
"Drizt, why don't you just get out of here? Go write a poem about how lame you are!"
Clearly too stunned by my cunning wit to respond, Drizt slinks out the door. IN SHAME.