Your Face (kandigurl) wrote,
Your Face
kandigurl

Death is weird, guys.

I don't know how many of you heard about this:

Woman is run over, killed on West Freeway
Star-Telegram

FORT WORTH -- A woman was killed early Saturday after being run over by a pickup in the 6000 block of the West Freeway, authorities reported.

She was identified as Nicole Seaman, 21, of Fort Worth, according to the Tarrant County medical examiner's office.

Witnesses called 911 to say that a woman appeared to be about to jump from the Bryant-Irvin Road overpass, said Lt. Paul Henderson, a police spokesman. When police arrived, the woman was lying in traffic on the West Freeway, where she was struck by a pickup that did not stop.

The medical examiner ruled that Seaman was killed when the truck ran over her but had not determined Saturday whether the death was accidental. Police are investigating it as a hit-and-run.

I knew that girl. Went to school with her. She was a friend of mine. She edited my first novel for me and I never did anything with it. She spent the night at my house and we went to Scarborough Faire together. She knew some stuff about me that nobody else knew. She liked Splender.

So I think it's very odd that I can't seem to feel any emotions about it. I've cried for people dying that I barely knew. Nicole, I knew her very well, and the only emotion I can come up with is, "Huh."

It's not that I don't care about her death. I do. It's a really shitty thing, and I have the feeling she died never knowing just how freaking cool she was. But for some reason, I'm just numb about it.

I'm going to go to the funeral on Wednesday. I think I'm just going to take the whole day off work and spend it with whatever other friends of hers from high school show up. We were all in the same circle of friends. Maybe hanging out with them will make me feel something. I WANT to feel something. This SHOULD be upsetting the hell out of me.

Maybe this is the denial phase?

ETA: It's weird, very weird, how clearly I can see her face. Feel her personality. I haven't seen her in years. I have a tough time remembering people I hung out with every day, but she's showing up for me, clear as day. *sigh* I need to cry about this, but it's just not coming.
Tags: death, friends, high school, memories, nostalgia, sad
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