Your Face (kandigurl) wrote,
Your Face

Today is Tuesday, but it's got Monday written all over it. Tired and generally miserable. My iPod decided that it doesn't like life anymore, and has given me the "sad iPod of doom" face. I read somewhere that someone had that happen to their iPod, so to fix it, they slammed it against a granite counter. I'm not opposed to trying that at this point, but instead I think I'll send it back to the iPod Mechanic dudes, it's still under warranty there. I did pay $100 to get it fixed, I had hoped it would work a little longer than two months for that price. Maybe it's just a slap in the face that I need to get a new iPod, or get over my addiction to Apple's adorable but expensive and error-ridden device, and get some other mp3 player. I DON'T WANNA, THOUGH, I LOVE MY IPOD.

*sigh* The iPod is really just a microcosm of the general funk I'm in today. But instead of burdening you guys with it, I will instead give you another chunk of inane story to read, because that's more interesting! If you remember from last time, Joey babbled about some stains on his carpet and then heard a knock at the door. The general internet consensus was that he should answer the door, and so that's what he's going to do! Should be pretty exciting!

NAME CHANGE: Stuff That Happened to Joey Spicklespackle One Day!
To continue on for as long as I'm not bored with it. Updated as often as the whimsy strikes.
The story so far!

You're right, I probably should answer the door, that would be the polite thing to do since I'm actually at home and all. I guess if I wasn't at home, if I were somewhere like Burger King, it would be more acceptable to not answer the door, you know?

Well, here goes nothing. I saunter over to the front door (because that's what I do sometimes when I'm hanging out by myself, I saunter) and pull it open.

Well, I'll be! It's Joey the Mailman! I like Joey the Mailman because he has the same name as me. "Joey", that is.

"Well, hey there, Joey, how's it going?" I say cheerfully to him.

"Not too bad, thanks for asking, Joey!"

"So, Joey, What brings you to my front door?" I ask. "You usually just drop my mail in the mailbox!"

"Well, I've got a Certified Letter for you today, Joey! You've got to sign for it."

"A Certified Letter? Joey, that's pretty exciting news! Who sent it?"

"Apparently that's classified and I'm not allowed to tell you, Joey, you have to open it and see. Sign here, please, if you would, Joey."

He hands me a clipboard and I sign the paper.

"Also, if you don't mind, Joey, sign here, too."

He flips to some more papers, and I sign them, too. Signing my name is fun! I can spell it correctly and everything!

"Great, looks like we're all set!" Joey the Mailman declares. "So, Joey, you gonna open up that letter and see who sent it?"

"That's entirely up to the internet, Joey!"

"Why is it up to the internet, Joey?"

"You see, Joey, I decided I'm not that great at making my own decisions, so I'm leaving my choices up to the miraculous information powerhouse that is the internet!"

Joey the Mailman gives me an odd look. "That's weird, Joey."

I nod. He has a point, this mailman does.

"Hey," Joey the Mailman says, pointing a little ways down the road, "Isn't that your girlfriend, Joey?"

I look in the direction he's pointing, and sure enough, I see Goatsie, clad in a beautiful burlap sack dress she made herself, walking her new pet ferret.

"It sure is, Joey!"

There is a pause in our conversation.

"Well, Joey, aren't you going to say hi to her?"

"As I said before, Joey, that's up to the internet! They still haven't let me pee."

Joey the mailman shakes his head. "Well, Joey, I hope the internet doesn't kill you!" He gives me a cheerful wave and heads off.

"Me too, Joey!" I call after him as he leaves. "Me too!"

Poll #1035068 Well, internet?

What's next?

Go to the bathroom
I haven't forgotten about sandwiches!
Go say hi to Goatsie
Open the letter
Tags: bitching, choose your own adventure, emo, ipod, writing

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