Your Face (kandigurl) wrote,
Your Face
kandigurl

Dreams, Sleep, or lack thereof

So the itching is getting better, but I'm still having trouble sleeping. It is so incredibly OBNOXIOUS to be tossing and turning the entire night, knowing every so often you're catching some bits of sleep (because you can remember dreams), you just have no idea when it was, and then you look at your window, and you see the sun coming up, and you realize your alarm is about to go off, and you don't feel like you've even fallen asleep yet, and so the most sleep you could possibly get is maybe half an hour?

YEAH.

Ready for that to stop.

However, the dreams I am having are INCREDIBLY vivid. Somewhere in the three winks of sleep I got last night, I had a dream about The Boy. Very vivid. Very weird, because there wasn't anything particularly random about it like there usually are in my dreams. We just had a conversation, the conversation I keep wanting to have with him, and it had a distinct beginning, middle, and end. Not all chopped up like dreams normally are, not cut off mid-thought like dreams usually are. Needless to say, when I woke up afterwards, I was in a bit of a funk (and still am, kind of) because it wasn't real.

He was on the phone talking to someone. Presumably the girl. Anyway, that's the impression I got. I walked by, saw him, met his eyes and walked on. Then I decided to go back and talk to him. He ended his conversation and I said, "So, are we ever going to talk again?"

He shrugged. "You know why we're not."

"Not really."

Bits I can't fully remember, but basically what went down last time we hung out.

And here I explained what I've been wanting to tell him forever, that yeah, it was cool, but what I really wanted was my friend, someone I could bullshit with, and the guy I used to hang out with and share things with with no problem at all.

It seemed to click with him that I wasn't BSing. I didn't bother mentioning the girl, I didn't feel it was worth it.

Then here, I think my fantasy brain took over: He said, "Just so you know, you tasted wonderful."

I shook my head. "Don't tell me things like that."

Then I went to give him a hug, and this is the part that was most vivid because it felt like we both wanted to kiss, that strong, tugging sensation you get. But I didn't, because I wanted to be true to what I said, that I just needed his friendship.

If I had known it was a dream, fuck, I would have kissed him. Oh, well.

Conversation ended on the upnote that he would actually call me back once in a while and we'd hang out more, and then I had somewhere I needed to be, so I left.

Today in my lj history:

2001:
Nothing at all, but I just noticed that 2007 is going along exactly like 2001, IE: Today, June 15th is Friday, and it was also Friday in 2001. INTERESTING FACTOID FOR THE CURIOUS.

2005:
Bitching about spyware!

2006:
Ouch. A bitter post about Drew, I almost hate to link to this because of how okay with him I am now.
Tags: bitching, dreams, itching, sleep
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