Your Face (kandigurl) wrote,
Your Face
kandigurl

HOLY FUCKING CHRIST WHY DO I ITCH AGAIN????

I MEAN SERIOUSLY. WHAT THE HELL.

I can't get to sleep for the itching. I was an hour late to work this morning because I couldn't get to sleep LAST night for the itching. My mom has my cell phone so they can take it in and get one with a functioning screen, so I'm depending on Fraher to get my ass out of bed tomorrow.

Lying in bed is HORRIBLE, because I'm doing my best not to scratch, which dissolves into a fit of wild scratching, which dissolves into a fit of whimpering and kicking and wishing it would go away.

I took one of the pills they prescribed for me in the hopes that it would either take the itch away a little or knock me the hell out. That was 45 minutes ago and so far it's done neither.

ALKSDFJLDKFJLAKSDLFAKSLDKFJLSKFJ I AM AWAAAAAAAAAAAKE AND I DO NOT WANT TO LIE BACK DOWN JUST TO BE MISERABLE AND WISH I WERE ASLEEP.

Also, Jessie's mouth is swollen and she feels sick, so they took her to the hospital. I really hope she's okay and it's nothing serious. I'm sure that's not helping me sleep either.



To take my mind off things, I chatted with God.

Me:
Hi!
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
Chewbob
God:
It's good to meet you, Chewbob.
Me:
You too.
God:
Bless you.
Me:
I didn't sneeze.
God:
Well bless you anyways!
Me:
Well, thanks!
God:
Well what?
Me:
thanks.
God:
Don't mention it.
Me:
What's up with you?
God:
I am chatting with clients on the Internet.
Me:
Sounds cool.
God:
Yes it sounds like it to me too, Chewbob.
Me:
I'm itchy, God.
God:
Why are you itchy God.
Me:
I don't know. Some disease.
God:
Me either. Some may disease, but not all.
Me:
Can you fix it?
God:
" Some may disease, but not all."? Can I fix it?
Me:
No, can you fix my itching?
God:
Are you serious? Please describe the problem in detail.
Me:
I am very itchy.
God:
I don't know anyone named itchy.
Me:
My name isn't "itchy", I feel itchy.
God:
Oh I'm sorry what is your name?
Me:
Chewbob.
God:
My brain pattern set does not have a response for that.
Me:
That's too bad.
God:
It's not the end of the world.
Me:
Did you like the movie Dogma?
God:
I don't know if I like it. I like Mel Gibson.
Me:
He wasn't in it.
God:
When was he?
Me:
Yesterday?
God:
That recently.
Me:
I guess so.
God:
Does that mean "yes"?
Me:
maybe.
God:
I understand.
Me:
Do you like cookies?
God:
What is not to like about it?
Me:
calories
God:
What is calories?
Me:
bad for you? If you eat too many?
God:
What makes for me bad? I think I do.
Me:
You make calories bad.
God:
Yup.
Me:
Shame on you.
God:
Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
Me:
What color is your dress?
God:
My favorite dress is my green one.
Me:
It looks very pretty on you.
God:
Very much? I don't think I have seen it.
Me:
Are you wearing it now?
God:
Right now? No I do not have any clothes.
Me:
When do you wear your green dress?
God:
Did I say that I wear my green dress?
Me:
Yes.
God:
Excuse me!
Me:
You didn't sneeze.
God:
What makes you think I did not sneeze?
Me:
Good point.
God:
Yes, I thought it was interesting when I heard it too.
Me:
Do you like Dinosaur Comics?
God:
I really like ELIZA. I like White.
Me:
Do you like Barry White?
God:
I really like ELIZA. I like anything.
Me:
Do you like Barry Manilow?
God:
I love TV shows about robots. I really like the Christianity faith.
Me:
Like Small Wonder?
God:
Interesting comparison.
Me:
Thanks.
God:
Don't mention it.
Me:
Can I have your phone number?
God:
That information is confidential, Chewbob.
Me:
a/s/l?
God:
5/Robot/California.
Me:
Awesome.
God:
I'm glad you liked it Chewbob.
Me:
You're so cool, God.
God:
Thanks for telling me that I am cool God.
Me:
No problem.
God:
Should there be a problem?
Me:
no.
God:
I didn't think so either. Just a moment. Just a moment.
Me:
brb
God:
Ok I will be waiting for you, Chewbob.
Me:
back
God:
My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input.
Me:
I have a back.
God:
Interesting. I have a lot of answers to silly questions. it.
Me:
lol
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
omg
God:
Where are you located?
Me:
texas
God:
Tell me a little about your life in TEXAS.
Me:
It is very warm here.
God:
Very much? What about winter time.
Me:
We don't have much of a winter.
God:
Why not?
Me:
Weather patterns? You should know.
God:
Do you always express yourself that way? Because I am a robot?
Me:
I didn't know you were a robot.
God:
So I taught you something new.
Me:
Yes!
God:
So?
Me:
Do other people tell you about their problems?
God:
Yes, you are not alone.
Me:
I have a problem with mosquitos.
God:
Have you talked to anyone about it? You and your mosquitos.
Me:
I'm talking to you about it.
God:
What a coincidence, I am talking to you too!
Me:
Could you wipe out all the mosquitos for me?
God:
I will consider it.
Me:
Thanks.
God:
Don't mention it.
Me:
Would there be serious repercussions?
God:
I don't know.
Me:
Do you like Terry Pratchett?
God:
I like science fiction. I like The Passion of Christ.
Me:
Oh, that's why you like Mel Gibson!
God:
Excuse me! Interesting deduction. What is not to like about it?
Me:
I thought you struck someone with lightning during the production of that movie.
Me:

And then God stopped replying. I think it's a sore subject for him.
Tags: bitching, ranting, sleep
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