The Screwed Legacy, Gen. 2 & 3
Dankizus dances like a wild woman. I find sim kid dancing to be hilarious.
Her mother, Totally, however, is having none of this merry-making. She demands her daughter make herself useful and take out the trash.
While her daughter is occupied, Totally steals the time to go batshit insane and dance a bit herself.
Randy does his best to ignore his psychotic wife and focuses on his precious grilled cheese sandwich.
Dankizus, banned from slinging her arms about like a freak, decides to play chess instead.
Randy makes the bed after having totally hot grandma sex with Totally.
Totally, exhausted from the work-out, falls asleep in the recliner. She has disturbing dreams about cows.
COW: Tooootallyyyy...come join us in our cowly scheme!!!
TOTALLY: NEVER!! I shall rub my nose in direct refusal to join in your ways!
Randy's too busy being a good father to notice his wife's having that stupid cow nightmare again.
My sims kept bitching and whining about wanting a car, so I got them a god damned car. It's come in handy when they miss the carpool.
Dankizus, tired from a day of doing her mother's inane bidding, passes out in the recliner. It's a good thing she can't see the terrifying blue mutant that's plotting to suck out her brains.
Finally, Dankizus is ready to give up her life as a child slave and become an exciting teenager! Her parents hop around excitedly, although I'm pretty sure Totally's only faking.
Look at how sexay I am!
After a change of hair style, Dankizus checks out her fine rear end in the mirror.
She then sits down to play chess and make weird faces at her father.
DANKIZUS: Daddy, do you know much about kissin'?
RANDY: Only that your mother beats me with a shovel if I refuse to kiss her. Checkmate.
In a feeble attempt to fulfill some of the girl's wants, I invited the headmaster over for dinner.
Oh my god. I want them to have ugly, disturbing babies together!
The house gets a little makeover that you can't see because I took the picture at night.
Randy and Dankizus form a deep bond while their mother is out doing god-knows-what every night.
DANKIZUS: Daddy, do you think I'd look pretty with makeup on?
RANDY: I think you'd stand a better chance of getting a man that way.
This is Randy's carpool, but I just thought it was neat to see the cops outside the house.
Having her previous attempt to get into private school fail miserably, Dankizus is determined to not miss her second opportunity, and wows the headmaster with her extensive knowledge about desks.
You sit in them!
Clearly the headmaster saw something in her witty rapport, as here she is strutting her bad-ass self in her fancy new uniform.
She brings home an interesting pile of new friends from school.
Yeah, ever since I got busted robbing that convenient store, I don't feel comfortable sitting out in the open. So I sit under stuff whenever I can.
In complete defiance of her mother's strict rules against having any sort of fun, Dankizus jams on the guitar.
Over a gripping game of chess, Totally and Randy realize that they never actually bothered to get married.
So in a quiet, uneventful setting, they tie the knot.
Dankizus gets her own room. I felt like she really needed a bowling ball rack. You know. For aesthetics.
Eventually, Dankizus is ready to become An Adult.
She turned out not too bad! I think she's adorable.
The minute she age-transitioned, she went into aspirational failure because I refused to send her to college.
Since actually getting married and not just living in sin, Totally and Randy have become quite affectionate towards one another.
Even creepily so.
Dankizus (now with 40% shorter hair!) contemplates what direction her life will take now that she's An Adult. She knows that marriage and babies are some of the things you're supposed to deal with at this stage in life. But who will she marry? Who would want an emotionally damaged train wreck such as herself?
Why, Uggy McUggerson, the headmaster
She invites him over for some of her delicious cooking: Cereal. The maid decides she's invited, too. (On a completely off topic note, that maid NEVER makes Totally and Randy's bed. But I'm too lazy to fire her.)
Uggy McUggerson is completely stricken with Dankizus. Look at all those crazy hearts flying everywhere.
They make their love official, and get married that very evening. Randy puts on his good pink suit for the occasion.
Their first action as a married couple is to slap the hell out of each other's hands.
Dankizus invites Uggy McUggerson back to her room for a little consumation. Mr. McUggerson does his best not to be creeped out by the fact that his new father-in-law is staring at them.
So I went to give Uggy McUggerson a makeover, to at least make him ever so slightly visually appealing.
It turns out that's impossible, so instead, I made him hideous.
Since achieving her lifetime want, Totally decides she doesn't need to wear clothes anymore. She and her daughter jam while Uggers McHideousersonopolis dances like a psychotic loon.
Randy age transitions. I gave him a haircut later, because I wasn't too fond of his flowing grey locks.
This is the only picture I took of Dankizus' pregnancy, apparently. What a surprise, SHE'S EATING. (Why do I love pregnant, eating sims?)
Totally was waiting in line for the bathroom when her time came.
You might want to put on some shoes, Totally. It's cold where we're going. I've told that hula girl to put on a sweater about a million times, but she won't listen.
The love of his life dead, Randy plummets into aspirational failure.
She was the only one who didn't make fun of my smustle.
Randy tries to spill out his feelings to Bella Goth, whom Uggers McStupidson brought home with him from work. The poor guy's too out of it to notice that she's not really listening.
But what's this? Dankizus is giving birth! Could there be a happy ending to this sad, sad scene?
Maybe! It's a girl. Her name is Smirantha.
Coochy-coochy-coo, Smirantha! It's a shame your grandmother didn't live to see you.
And that's all I got for now. I've decided I don't give a crap about Uggy McUggerson, so I'm going to use him to get one of the ghost colors. This means I'm going to KILL THE HECK OUT OF HIM!!!! But how? I will leave that up to YOU, internet!
How should Uggy McUggerson die?
X-posted to legacychallenge