BUT THIS IS NOT THE CASE, MY FRIEND. What I have learned from my experience today is that I will NEVER leave work eight minutes later than five again. You'd think eight freaking minutes would not make that much difference in finding a parking spot, but oh, holy hell, it does.
I started my desperate search for a parking space by pulling into the lot that I normally park in and weaving around the various rows of cars. Now, normally, I don't find a spot until I reach the very back, but I figure it's worth sauntering around the front rows just in case I happen upon a rare open spot. Naturally, I didn't find one in the front, but it's all good, I'll just cruise on to the back...where there are ALSO no spots.
Okay. Okay, that's fine. There's another parking lot across from the business building, and while it will be farther to walk (since I start and end my day in the library, not the business building where I actually have my class), at least it's not the parking lot across the street from campus.
I make my way over there, repeat the weave-and-search technique, and come up with nothing. By this point, I'm thanking myself for deciding to skip my INSY class, because by this point, I would be five minutes late, not counting the time it would take to walk to class.
So, getting pissed by this point, I decide to give up and go to the across-the-street lot. That would make this the THIRD parking lot I've tried for a space. And look! As I glance in, I see that there is a parking space RIGHT IN FRONT! And there are no other cars around! Could the spirits that live in the sky be smiling on me? I floor it and turn the corner to pull into the parking lot, keeping an eye on my precious space. I have to drive down another row of cars to get turned around so that I will be facing the right direction to pull in, but it's all good, I'm the only car in this lot. I turn the corner and WHAT THE FUCK ANOTHER CAR CAME FROM ABSOLUTELY OUT OF NOWHERE TO STEAL MY SPOT.
By this point, I hate everything. I am seriously ready to KILL the person that pulled into that spot. And that is a sad thing, friends, when losing a parking space is means to commit a heinous crime. I'm dropping fuck word after fuck word, desperately searching for another spot. I finally find one, clearly neglected due to the fact that there's a light pole on the edge, protruding ever so slightly into the space. Who cares. Mia's small. I take the god-forsaken space.
And all I can think as I'm stepping out of the car is, "Why the FUCK did I pay $90 to spend twenty minutes driving around aimlessly only to get the CRAPPIEST SPOT ON CAMPUS*???"
The answer is there is no answer. I hate everything. And I want my money back.
AND NOW TO MAKE AN EMO POST!!!!!!!!
*This, honestly, is not a fair statement. There are MUCH crappier spots I could have parked. I could have parked by the football stadium, which would have provided me with a no less than ten minute trek to the library, but hey, I would have gotten my excercise, I'm sure.