January 31st, 2010

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LJ Idol - Topic 12 - Sexual Ethics

The Continued Adventures of Joey and His Recently Acquired Walnut Half
Part One can be found here

Joey had learned a few things in the time he'd spent with his walnut half. Lesson number one, sleeping with a walnut under your pillow prompted some fairly odd dreams.

Joey remembered the night in the alley when a man covered in quilts insisted upon giving him half a walnut. It had been strange and disturbing. The man had promised something about dreams, but Joey never truly expected any actual dreams to come from the stupid nut.

So when a week had gone by, and Joey had left the walnut half under his pillow every night, he began to realize that perhaps he'd gotten himself into something a little bigger than he could have ever predicted.

He had, indeed, been dreaming.

This would have been nothing spectacular, except that Joey in all his life had never had a dream before. He'd slept, oh, that much could be said with certainty. Joey was, in fact, quite adept at sleeping. He considered it one of his more honed skills, along with making peanut butter sandwiches and weed whacking the front lawn. (He never did the three simultaneously, of course.) But in all of his days of sleeping, Joey had never experienced any nighttime visions.

Until now.

This freaked Joey out a little bit, and in an effort to deal with his new and bewildering dilemma, Joey learned lesson number two: Never begin a conversation with your girlfriend using the phrase, "Sweetie, I'd like to talk to you about my nuts."

It didn't go over well. He spent the next fifteen minutes explaining that he honestly didn't mean it that way, he had no intentions of rushing their relationship along any faster, and it was walnut he wanted to talk about, nothing...extra.

His girlfriend (who's name is not actually "Beth", but we will call her that because she wishes to remain anonymous) finally relented and listened to Joey talk about the strange new dreams he'd had on account of the nut under his pillow. After listening patiently while he related the tale, she took a deep breath and said, "Joey, I think you're reading way too much into this. It's just a walnut."

Joey didn't quite know how to respond. He'd discovered something here, something he felt was important, something that might move him forward in his otherwise stagnant life. He'd discovered his inner hopes. They revealed themselves to him night after night. But maybe Beth was right, maybe it was just a walnut. And if it was, that meant that he could have the dreams without it, right?

So the next night, Joey left the walnut on the small table next to his bed instead of placing it under his pillow. He then set to the task of drifting off to sleep, to see if the dreams would find him again...