November 30th, 2009

EEEEK!! Dr. Horrible


Okay, no I didn't. But I did accidentally slam it into the flower cutter blade at work. I was too freaked out to see how deep it was, I just ran straight for the Neosporin, Band-Aids and the sink, and Band-Aided that shit up as quickly as possible. And then I glanced suspiciously at the flower cutter the whole rest of the day.

Then I came home to write, because I'm so super freaking behind on NaNo. I wrote 7,120 words with my heavily bandaged finger. I mean, I have FOUR BAND-AIDS on this sucker. FOUR. On the tip of my finger.

Anyway, I wrote all the words, and I was very grateful for the cushion the Band-Aids provided. I never realized how many "S"s and "W"s I typed, as those are the letters I type with the hurt finger.

OKAY NOW HERE IS THE ICKY PART. When I finished with all of my typing, surfed YouTube a bit, checked e-mail and OkCupid, I then looked at the keyboard. TO FIND THAT THE "S" AND "W" KEYS WERE KINDA BLOODY.


*Today is not the first time I have done something horrible to my finger! Back in 2003, when I was working on a dress for a friend of mine, I actually drove the needle from the sewing machine all the way through my finger. I could have sworn I made an lj post about this, but I went back and checked, and there is none. There's posts about starting the dress and finishing it, but none about the horrific finger stabbing. WELL, IT IS HERE NOW, I GUESS, JUST SIX YEARS TOO LATE.**

**God, I've had a LiveJournal forever.
1997 - Hanson - leaning

LJ Idol - Topic 6 - Sunrise

Soon, you'll be okay
Soon, you'll be okay
And it makes me smile
Because I'm on my way"

-"It's the Sun", The Polyphonic Spree

I really like that song. I really like The Polyphonic Spree. Chances are, if you replied to this and told me that you liked them a lot, too, I would respond with something like, "ZOMG BEST FRIENDS FOREVER."

Why is that?

I've thought a lot recently about high school and high school relationships. Why has it become harder to find friends like the ones I had in high school? Ones I can goof off with and act crazy around and nothing else matters? The reason is because we're not in high school anymore, number one. We've got other stuff to worry about besides passing or failing a math test, and whether or not we can get our room clean in time to go to the dance. We've got Big Kid problems now.

And the other thing is that when we were in high school, a lot of friendships were forged because we liked the same thing, the same music, the same bands.

"Everybody's looking for a blue sky
Searching for an answer on a satellite
I know that there's got to be a blue sky out there to see
A blue sky waiting for me"

-"Blue Sky", Hanson

I met one of my best friends because we both loved Hanson. At a time when Hanson was the epitome of uncool, I'd learned to hide my obsession in an attempt to avoid getting teased or mocked. But finding someone else who liked them as much as I did opened this whole new world. Here's someone I could be myself around! We both liked this band, so in some small way, we were connected. We were the same.

You find those links, and you cling to them. Clearly, we think the same, because we are both hearing the same songs, the same words, the same music, and it speaks to us. We share this because it's something we both feel, and we both feel it deeply.

"Die Sonne scheint mir aus den Händen
Kann verbrennen kann euch blenden"

(The son shines out of my hands
It can burn and blind you)

-"Sonne", Rammstein

But here's the problem with that logic. Everybody hears things differently. Everybody feels things differently. Everybody interprets things differently. You and I could hear the exact same song, and feel deeply moved by it. But the song I'm hearing takes me back to childhood, playing with my toys, or maybe even to a time before I was born, where I imagine things were better. You, on the other hand, hear the way your lover makes you feel, or the warmth of a fire in the winter.

It's not that any one interpretation is right or wrong. It's that they are all different. In high school, we were so eager to cling on to what makes us the same. What makes us the same bonds us, makes us stronger, and no one can take it away. We now have something to fight with, something and someone to protect us from those who wish us harm, even if that something is that we both really dig "MMMBop".

I'm still in touch with that girl from high school, but we're not the friends we used to be. Now that we're older, we've learned how to stand up for ourselves. Our new friends have their own issues to take care of, their own lives to control, and it's cool if we both enjoy "Poker Face", but that's not going to forge anything powerful and deep between us. Maybe we will both smile when it comes on the radio. But we have to learn how to love ourselves, and be our own strength, and love our own music. That way we can form bonds embracing each others' differences, and not feel afraid to sing out on our own.

"And it makes me smile
Because I'm on my way...

(This post has been brought to you by therealljidol™)