So it came up in casual discussion today that none of my immediate cubicle neighbors had even heard of Ben & Jerry's, much less eaten any. So shaken to my core was I that I went out and bought them each a pint. The general consensus so far seems to be, "It's different than Blue Bell."
THAT IS BECAUSE IT IS SO INFINITELY SUPERIOR TO BLUE BELL THAT IT IS BLOWING YOUR MIND, AND IT JUST HASN'T HAD A CHANCE TO SINK IN YET.
Give it time.
I think I've figured out something crucial about the time it takes me to read things. I used to think that I read faster if I really liked a book. It turns out that's not entirely the case. What got me curious about this phenomenon are two books we're reading for book club (by the way, I'm in a book club now. I didn't join it. I'm just in it.):
Exhibit A: Twilight (Stephanie Meyer), which is a raging pile of crap. I read it quickly, enjoying it until it dissolved into nothing but "ZOMG EDWARD DID YOU KNOW THAT I LOVE YOU YES BELLA I DID AND I LOVE YOU TOO OMG EDWARD THAT'S GREAT WHY DON'T YOU STAY BY MY SIDE EVERY WAKING MOMENT AND ALSO THE ONES WHERE I'M SLEEPING BECAUSE THAT'S NOT CREEPY AT ALL." The point is: It was a quick read for me.
Exhibit B: A Dirty Job (Christopher Moore). I am enjoying this book SEVENTEEN THOUSAND TIMES more than Twilight, and yet, I am plodding through it at the speed of...something...that is slow.
WHY, I asked myself, WHY???
I thought of other books I've read recently:
My Sister's Keeper (Jodi Picoult), which I ADORED, and whizzed through in less than a week.
Dead Witch Walking (Kim Harrison), which I ALSO adored, but took me a month or more to plod through.
Candy Girl, A Year in the Life of an Unlikely Stripper (Diablo Cody), read the fucker in ONE NIGHT.
Sourcery (Terry Pratchett), been reading since last year.
WHY THE PLODDING? WHAT IS THE DEAL?
I think I figured it out. Are you ready? Here is my theory: Books that are written based in real-life situations, places and circumstances take less time for me to read than books based in fantasy worlds or unusual situations. Why? My guess is that I don't have to imagine as much reading the real-life stories, so my brain does not strain as much, or need as many breaks. Fantasy or out-of-the-norm novels force my ol' brain to work and think more, and as such, it takes longer for me to muddle through them.
For this, I think my brain is retarded. Just because it's harder to think about stuff that doesn't happen every day doesn't mean I don't like reading about it. Hell, I like WRITING about unusual, norm-less stuff. But apparently I'm too stupid to process it quickly.
SO THERE IT IS. Fantasy is slower going for me than reality-based fiction.