Question for people far more savvy than I when it comes to this bonus $800/$300 whatever thing:
Is this rebate built into your tax return, IE: the forms are set up so that your refund includes an extra $800, or is it an additional check they're throwing in when they send you your refund, which is legitimately yours?
I'm trying to figure it out so I know how to appropriately thwart the system.
Okay. Tax return? In the mail. Refund? Very decent, AS PER MY PLAN. (BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA) See, people with good financial sense will tell you all the tricks to get as much of your actual money from your paycheck as possible (resulting in a low refund check) because getting it back in a refund it is akin to giving the government an interest-free loan.
IE: You say, "Here, Mr. Government man! You can have this money of mine for free, as long as you give it back to me in a year, and I'll charge you nuthin!" And the government says, "SWEET DEAL."
Me? I'm bad at saving money, and I wouldn't put that extra money in a savings account, I'D SPEND IT. So I LIKE the government hanging on to some of my money for me! I LIKE big refund checks! So when I filled out my W-4 at RAZ, I claimed 0 dependents, which means the government took out everything they could get away with, which means HELLA REFUND CHECK.
I am okay with this.
The next step comes in deciding how to spend it. I need to have a PLAN before this thing comes in, or else it will get spent frivolously and that would be a Bad Thing™. I'm going to stash half of it safely away in my savings account (probably not my ING acct, because having that linked to my Wells Fargo acct makes it way too easy to get to). But the rest, I need to have plotted out.
SO: HAVE YOU HEARD ME MENTION ANYTHING THAT I WANT OR NEED RECENTLY? I'm going to make a big list of things I want, things I need, how much it all costs, and then whittle it down to exactly how this check will be spent. And I'll probably stash a little of it for frivolous spending.
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WORD OF THE DAY (emphasis on the definition is added by ME)
pulletier: The keeper of the sacred chickens observed for purposes of augury*; adopted from the Old French pouletier, poultry-keeper.
Feast Eve of St. Aldegund,
A patron of those suffering from cancer. Medico George Wood's Vitalogy (1896) reported a curious cancer treatment recommended heartily by Elisha Smith, president of the New York Association of Botanic Physicians: "If the cancer has become open, and the ulceration commenced, apply the flesh of fresh-killed chickens (oh my god). This will extract the fever and acrimonious poison astonishingly and become in the course of two or three hours perfectly rotten and corrupted with it. They should then be changed for a fresh application. This method should be continued till the poison and life of the cancer are extracted, when the whole substance of the tumor will become a dead mass, and may be taken out with ease and without pain. 'The flesh of any animal is good,' Dr. Smith suggests, 'but I consider chickens preferable.'"
OH MY GOD.
*I did not know what "augury" meant, so I looked it up:
1. the art or practice of an augur; divination.
2. the rite or ceremony of an augur.
Which was SO HELPFUL, so I looked up "augur":
1. one of a group of ancient Roman officials charged with observing and interpreting omens for guidance in public affairs.
2. soothsayer; prophet.
MUR KEEPS TALKING ON TWITTER ABOUT A NEW I SHOULD BE WRITING.
WANT WANT WANT WANT WANT WANT WANT.