August 22nd, 2006

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Dear livejournal:


So, I've got fifteen days left of this whole no sugar, no junk food thing. I would kill someone to eat some ice cream right now, and I'm not even kidding. When I was a kid? I swore I would never, ever go on a diet or make myself suffer by not letting myself eat what I wanted to, and at this point, the adult part of my body is starting to go, "God damn it, the kid has a point! EAT THE FUCKING ICE CREAM. WHO WILL IT HURT???"

The truth is? No one. If I gave up the stupid no sugar thing right now, and moved on to my limited sugar plan (which I've planned to go into effect after I've gone 30 days without sugar), WHO THE FUCK WOULD CARE? If I blimped up into a fat fat fattie, I'd only have myself to blame. (Not to mention the fact that eating healthy is fucking EXPENSIVE.)

I've always, always, always, ALWAYS hated diets. HATED. With a passion. Swore never to go on one, ever. When I started this thing, I refused to refer to it as a "diet", because I'm not doing it to lose weight, I'm trying to break my psychotic addiction to sugar and junk food. But honestly? If I got off my butt and excercised more? I'd
be fine. I mean, in the past year, I've lost 23 pounds doing just that, watching how much sugar I eat, cutting out sodas, trying to eat more salads and all that. So why force myself to suffer so much when really, I was doing fine before? I just need to do a little MORE fine, is all. Not let myself buy gummy peaches for no better reason
than it's three o'clock on Tuesday, that sort of thing. But certainly not DENY myself that incredible food product that is ice cream. GEEZ LOUISE.

So I'm putting it in your hands, livejournal. (I'd make a poll, but I'm posting from my e-mail.) Should I pat myself on the back for going more days in a row than I ever have in my entire life* without sugar or junk food, and carry on with my limited sugar eating plan? Or should I continue to cause myself mental anguish and frustration for no good reason for the next fifteen days? WHAT DO YOU THINK?

*Except for the first three years of my life, when my mother wouldn't let me touch the stuff. Smart woman. My early "birthday cakes" were plain yogurt flavored with wheat germ. The first birthday party for a friend I went to was like giving a crack addict his first batch for free.