August 26th, 2005

Tree Dreaming

Coping.

So, if you know Drew, and you read his lj, you know what's up. Our relationship, which lasted six years, ended Tuesday night.

Right now, a huge chunk of me is going, "Oh god, oh god, oh god. I'm not ready. I can't do this."

But there's also that voice in the back of my head going, "It's okay. This was the right thing to do. Everything will be fine."

I know the second voice is right. Sometimes I can even convince myself of it long enough to relax and smile.

But for the most part...holy shit, I'm not ready.

I'm having tons of crappy feelings that I don't really want to bore you with, I'm considering starting a new journal to keep track of everything I'm going through so that I can get it out without clogging up your friends list. If you're at all interested in reading that journal, let me know and I'll friend you with it. If you're not, don't bother.

I miss so much. But there's so much I don't miss...it's gonna be okay, I know that, it's just gonna take a looooooong time.