July 25th, 2005

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Hogsmeade Weekend 6/22/05 - Caption Contest #1

Following your map, you come to a shop that's been locked up. All the lights are out, no one is inside, and there's a blank piece of parchment taped to the front door. You look at it, confused, and check your map again.

"It says there's supposed to be a caption contest here," you say aloud to whoever will listen. "What's going on?"

You look back up at the parchment on the door. But to your surprize, it's not blank anymore. It's been written on. You walk a bit closer to see what it says.

Hi! This is Jessica, the Hufflepuff prefect! I'm actually not able to be here at Hogsmeade, you know, in the most physical sense of the word. I'm taking a little trip into the muggle world! But I bewitched this parchment to speak for me.

"Ah-ha. Kind of like Tom Riddle and his diary."

Yes, but I'm not evil. Look at me! I'm a Hufflepuff. Everyone knows Hufflepuffs aren't evil.

"Actually, right now, you're just a piece of paper. How do I know you're not going to posess people to do horrible things so that you can become corporeal?"

Because I'm only in Frisco, I'm not dead or anything! Jeez. Anyway, what do you want? Why are you bugging me?

"Well, it said on the map that there's supposed to be a caption contest here."

Ah, yes, the caption contest! That which requires a keen mind and a sharp wit! You can't just muddle your way through this stuff, no siree, you've got to have your thinking cap on!

Suddenly, little doodled fireworks begin to go off in the confines of the paper, and new words appear.

The caption contest, often given the reputation for being "simple", "quick", "easy points", when really it requires the most thought to win! You must come up with an inspiring piece of prose short enough to keep your reader interested, but humerous enough to make them forget all the other entries! You are battling against hundreds of others, striving to be as successful as you! You must do-

"How long would you go on if I just stood here and kept reading?"

It really depends.

"Are you just showing off?"

Probably.

"Could you just show me the contest?"

I guess, if that's all you really want.

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100 Points will be awarded to the First Place Entry.
75 Points will be awarded to the Second Place Entry.
50 Points will be awarded to the Third Place Entry.
25 Points will be awarded to all Participants.
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Hogsmeade Weekend 6/22/05 - Caption Contest #3

Wandering away from the essay contest, your wrist aching, you find yourself back at the parchment with the mind of Jessica, the Hufflepuff prefect. Hoping to get another contest out of it, you go up to see what's written there. But all you see is a stream of "z"s being written at a steady pace.

"Hello? Are you awake?"

The "z"s stop, and the parchment kicks into gear, scribbling out a stream of words. Hi! I was getting pretty bored there, no one was visiting me. What's up? What's going on in Hogsmeade? What are all the cool kids doing?

"Do you have another contest?"

The page seems to have not heard you. Hey, do you want to play a game of tic-tac-toe?, the paper writes, starting to draw four intersecting lines.

"Um, no, not really."

Hangman, then.

"No. I was thinking maybe...caption contest?"

Ah, THAT game! Requiring the wit of a thousand brilliant comedians, yet a touch of realism so that readers will not find your entry "silly" or "trite". Many shy away from the challenge, feeling it too tough for the faint of heart, the week of mind, the tallow of skin-

"You can show me the picture any time."

I'm almost done: and the sore of face.

"What does that even mean?"

When you find that out...you'll know everything, won't you?

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NOTE: Do not remove the text area code when you comment.

100 Points will be awarded to the First Place Entry.
75 Points will be awarded to the Second Place Entry.
50 Points will be awarded to the Third Place Entry.
25 Points will be awarded to all Participants.
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Hogsmeade Weekend 7/22/05 - Caption Contest #5

You wander back to the shop with the note pinned to the door. According to your map, there's supposed to be a third and final contest here. But when you approach the parchment, it's doodling little hearts all around it, and writing I luv Dan in big swirly script.

"Ahem," you say.

The invisible pen seems to jump. Suddenly, everything on the page disappears, and the parchment is blank for a moment. Then, slowly, Um....what do you want?

"What do I want? I want the last contest you owe me."

Seems that's all you care about. Contests. You never come by just to say hi.

"Who was that you were writing about just a moment ago?"

A pause.

What?

"You were writing about someone named Dan. You don't mean Daniel Radcliffe, do you?"

I have no idea what you're talking about. I'm six years older than Daniel Radcliffe, how could I have a crush on him?

"You tell me."

Another pause.

Then, abruptly, For this LAST contest, you need to put yourself in the mind of an evil genius!!

"Just show me the picture."

Fine. You have no appreciation for art, you know.

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Please submit using this format:


NOTE: Do not remove the text area code when you comment.

100 Points will be awarded to the First Place Entry.
75 Points will be awarded to the Second Place Entry.
50 Points will be awarded to the Third Place Entry.
25 Points will be awarded to all Participants.