December 10th, 2003

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(no subject)

Just registered for classes, and am horribly unhappy with the results. I have three hour and a half long classes right in a ROW on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and my history prof gives ESSAY TESTS. She was the only one I could pick that did not interfere with water aerobics or work. DO YOU KNOW HOW HORRIBLE IT IS, READING REVIEWS OF A PROFESSOR THAT SAY, "SO EASY!!!! MULTIPLE CHOICE TESTS!!!! HELPFUL LECTURES!!!" AND KNOWING THAT YOU COULD NOT EVEN TAKE THEM IF YOU WANTED TO BECAUSE YOU HAVE PRIOR COMMITMENTS, AND BEING FORCED TO TAKE A CLASS THAT YOU WILL MOST LIKELY FAIL????? DO YOU????????

In lighter news, something hilarious happened at work last night. Things were going Subway-ish as usual, people would come in and order sammiches and we'd make 'em, cleaning, baking cookies and bread, the usual.

Well, this chicky comes in and gets in line behind two other customers, and as I am helping those in front of her I notice she is sort of wiggling around, shaking her legs and what have you. Now, it's chilly out, I assume perhaps she is just cold and is trying to warm up. It isn't until I observe her further that I realize she is DANCING.

"Are you dancing?" I ask her.

"Oh! Yeah, I'm practicing my routine, I dance all the time without even realizing, people look at me like I'm nuts, haha!"

"Oh, ok. Well, what would you like?"

Ok, here's the best part, you have to imagine her DANCING THE WHOLE TIME SHE IS SPEAKING: "Ok, all I want is a six inch of white bread with four pieces of American cheese and that's ALL!"

Ok, man, I have seen little kids order this all the time. Hell, there is even a little girl that comes in a lot who ONLY gets bread. BUT THEY ARE LITTLE. This girl looks to be at LEAST 16 or 17. AND SHE IS DANCING.

We (Robert, my fellow employee, and I) question her about her odd choice in sandwich.

Her response:

"Oh, I'm a vegitarian, I've been one since I was 4, I eat really healthy!"

Me:

"........you're a vegitarian who doesn't like vegetables?..........."

"No, I only don't like vegetables on THIS." *dance dance dance dance*

Sometimes, I really love people.

She laughed about stupid nonsense while she paid and got her drink, then danced out the door.

** ** **

IN OTHER NEWS: I don't know where Drew is, probably still in his final. I think if it gets to be 1 and I still haven't found him, I should begin worrying. Perhaps I should log onto AIM Express and see if he gets on, and we could meet online, like one of those cheesy dating service ads! It would be beautiful!

MAN I WISH I HAD A DIFFERENT HISTORY CLASS.
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Ok, ok, ok....

This junk mail thing is getting OUT OF HAND, I just got this:

Subject: qpq - Penis Patch uu

AND I LAUGHED MY TUSHIE OFF. IN THE SCHOOL LIBRARY.

I went to copy it to post this entry and accidentally out of habit hit "Open in new window" instead of "copy" and if you've ever wondered what is in the body of these messages regarding penis enlarging you've been getting?

It is this:

"with all possible expedition. scene, however, soon unwrinkled many of their
faces. what is there that a saint (jogi) does not know? what nonsense
nothing about funeral expenses. he had a trunk--gold watch in it, stones; yet
if you will grant me a favour, give me, i beg, the with all possible expedition.
scene, however, soon unwrinkled many of their faces. what is there that a saint
(jogi) does not know? what nonsense nothing about funeral expenses. he had a
trunk--gold watch in it, stones; yet if you will grant me a favour, give me, i
beg, the"

And then an ad for penispatch.com.

DOUBLEYOU?????? TEEEEEEE???????????????? EFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF????????????????????????????????????????????
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(no subject)

Drew HAS to be SOMEWHERE, doesn't he?

I mean, theoretically, it is physically impossible for him to be NOWHERE. His corporeal being must be in some physical location.

Perhaps he is still finaling it up? But didn't his final begin at 10? That would mean he's been at it for three and a half hours, and I suspect this is not the case.

Didn't he only have the one final today?

Why are we morons who never plan where we are going to meet?

I don't know.
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(no subject)

The best part is where I unplug the computer by kicking the wire under the desk and have to crawl under it like a moron to plug it back in.

I read that part seven times, it was so good.
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Exciting information that you will never use:

If you have ever played a Maxis game such as Sim City or The Sims, you have probably encountered the phrase "reticulating splines" and, like me, you have wondered what the hell this meant. You've probably quipped to people that it "probably just means they're inverting llamas or something." According to dictionary.com:

re·tic·u·late (r-tky-lt, -lt) adj.

Resembling or forming a net or network: reticulate veins of a leaf.

spline (spln) n.

a. Any of a series of projections on a shaft that fit into slots on a corresponding shaft, enabling both to rotate together.
b. The groove or slot for such a projection.

SO, the next time you play your favorite Maxis game and it tells you that it is reticulating splines, you can turn to whoever may or may not be in the room and proudly declare, "Right now, it is making a net or network of any of a series of projections on a shaft that fit into slots on a corresponding shaft, enabling both to rotate together."

And the best part is, it will be the TRUTH!!!
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Posting this to that "vanity" community, but checking and editing the hilarity here.

I posted this "application" here.






-age - I MA A CHILD AT HEART

-name - CHEWBOB

-astrological sign - TEH BULL

-7 bands.
1-RUBBERBANDS
2-MARCHING BANDS
3-BROADBAND
4-BANDWIDTH
5-BANNED BOOKS
6-YOUR MOM
7-HER SISTER

-say something funny - I DO NOT NEED TO SAY IT...JUST LOOK IN THE MIRROR, LOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!!!!

-reason your name(spell you're name out,and for each letter give a reason why we should accept you)
CHEESE
HAS
EVERY
WEIRD
BUTTON
ON THE
BOTTOM
(IT'S TRUE, I CHECKED!)

-give us an unanswerable question - WHAT IS THE SOUND OF ONE HAND PUNCHING YOUR MOM'S PONY IN THE NOSE?

-you're best PHYSICAL/MENTAL qualities are...I AM SO PRITTY...JUST LOOK AT ME ON THAT EXCERCISE BIKE

-you're worst PHYSICAL/MENTAL qualities are...I HAVE NONE. I AM TOTALLY HOTTTTTTTT.

-name four people who you'd fuck - YOUR MOM, YOUR MOM, YOUR MOM AND YOUR MOM

-describe yourself in lyrics - I'M LOOKING FOR MY CAR BUT I MUST HAVE SOLD MY CAR WHEN I NEEDED TO BUY AN ELECTRIC ORGAN

-what makes you better than everyone else - NOBODY ELSE CAN DO THIS: *RANDOM ACTION YOU CANNOT SEE BECAUSE YOU ARE SOMEWHERE ELSE, HAHAHAHAHA!!!*

-whats youre typical style - WHATEVER THAT'S A TRICK QUESTION

finish the sentences...
I have a large_______DESIRE TO HAVE YOU GIVE ME A PONY OR THREE BECAUSE LAST CHRISTMAS I ASKED FOR SEVEN AND MY MOM DIDN'T GIVE ME ANY.
If I could I would _______EAT THAT POTATO CHIP THAT'S BEEN SITTING ON THE FLOOR FOR A WEEK, BUT IT'S ALL DUSTY AND GROSS AND I THINK THE CAT LICKED IT A FEW TIMES SO MAYBE I SHOULD BUY A NEW ONE.
What a ________GREAT MUSICAL THAT WAS, LET'S GO FIFTY MORE TIMES AND MOCK THAT MAN FOR THAT SCENE WHERE HE HAS TO WEAR THE TUTU AND TIGHTS!!!

opinions...
abortion-4 SQUARES
drugs-4 SQUARES
sex-4 SQUARES
government-4 SQUARES
love-4 SQUARES
suicide-4 SQUARES
the word hella-HELLA COOL

I can't wait to see my "NO" votes!!!!!!