January 29th, 2002

Tree Dreaming

Tomorrow I go back to school...

Well, it's almost eleven and everyone's asleep. I'm pretty much alone with my thoughts, excepting I can't play loud music or sing. But oh well.
Tomorrow I go back to school after two sick days. I have to write that GTC essay that was due Monday first period and make it look like I spent four days on it. No problem. I know what I'm gonna write it over anyway. If I was really motivated, I'd write it now and type it at school, but ask me if I am. Did you ask? Answer: I'm not! Oh well. Just so long as I can get it done and get a resonable grade. I wouldn't mind too much taking the GTC exam, I suppose...the only exam I REALLY don't wanna take is the government one.
In other news, I rejoined this wicca e-mail group I dropped a year or so ago. I dropped it because I was getting too much e-mail, but I rejoined because without it, I feel really unconnected from anything like that. Ever since Kat and Nicole left, I've got no witchy buds...*sigh*. And lately some of my friends have been poking me saying, "HEY! HOW DO YOU DO THIS???" And on account of the fact that I really don't mess with spells much (I don't have the time or the space or the know-how), I just sorta go, "Uh...do...something." I feel really incompetent and dumb. I don't know nearly enough. So I have to surround myself with a daily dose of people who do.
I wish I could go to a ren-fair on a nice day with people who like ren-fairs. I'm feeling really ren-fair-y. I haven't gotten much use out of my dress than I bought the last time I went to Scarborough. I wore it there, and then to Scottish Fest, and that's about all. I'm probably gonna wear it to the Backwards dance, but that's not a ren-fair. It would be neat if it was, tho. I like Scarborough because it's big and has lots of trees and lots of pretty music and shops and basically because I don't feel modern there. Sometimes I want to feel modern and sometimes I don't. Right now I don't.
I want out of this house. In a big big big big big big way. I want to go out and never ever ever come back. Start something new. Someday I want to live where it's never summer, autumn takes up 90 percent of the year, and it snows every Christmas. When it's almost sunset on a nice fall day and there's a breeze and the sky's doing that cool hazy yellowy thing, but the sun's not glaring in your eyes, that's when my head feels most screwed on my head. I can think clearly. In this house, in this state, I can't. Only sometimes. I like trees. I want a house with lots of trees. Around it. Possibly in it.
I think everyone should read Soul Music.
I think everyone should watch Buffy.
I think everyone should avoid lurks.
Unless they're Buffy.
I think everyone should go to celtic festivals and feel happy and free and not cooped up.
I don't feel like shutting up. But I'm out of things to say. I think. Crap. Oh well.
  • Current Music
    Seven Nations--the stuff off Old Ground