Here he is. Bliff Horseface. Genetically engineered to have the most horrifying face imaginable!! Will this loveable scamp someday have great, great grandchildren that can go to school without fear of intense torture? Let's hope so!
I tried to spell "Horseface" out in the trees surrounding his lot in scenic Landy Land.
FIRST GENERATION! LET'S GET STARTED:
Bliff's humble abode! Like all first generation Legacy houses, it's a shithole. But it's BLIFF'S shithole. Note the lack of any wallpaper or type of flooring. The best part about this original house is that I couldn't afford a door for the bathroom, so I had to leave the wall open. This requried that anyone using the bathroom shoo everyone out of the ENTIRE HOUSE.
Naturally, one of the first things I bought Bliff was a bathroom door.
This is the outside of Bliff's starter house.
And here is the woman I chose to be Bliff's wife. The most attractive townie I could find: Marisa Bendett. Unfortunately, she was about to burp when I took this picture.
This is a substantially better picture of Marisa.
After several intense days of wooing, and convincing her that really, she should love him for his mind, Marisa agreed to move in, bringing $1,000 to the home. Later, Bliff convinced her that they should get married, because honestly, it would just look better on paper. And so, in the company of friends, they tied the knot!
They lived happily together, Bliff joyously cleaning up after Marisa's crap, Marisa lovingly cooking the meals Bliff would eventually shove down his hideous face. The most interesting thing that happened during the first generation: Bliff and Marisa ate way too much turkey, and they both got fat at the same time! It must be true love.
Soon enough, Marisa was preggers witht their first child.
SECOND GENERATION! THINGS GET UGLY (AND BY UGLY I MEAN THEIR FACES):
The Horseface house at the beginning of the second generation! As you can see, Bliff's come a long way from the dump at the beginning with the faulty bathroom. Now he's got wallpaper! And a double bed! Marisa wasn't too thrilled with his decorating skills, but Bliff never made claims at being a great decorator, anyway.
And this is the outside of their home. It, too, has been improved, although Marisa insisted on being in charge of the exterior. She wanted people to at least think they lived normal lives, with normal interior decorating. She even planted a nice tree in the backyard. She dreams of someday watching her darling children, and someday grandchildren, take their vows under these very branches. She's a dreamer.
And here's the second generation, in the flesh! Ralphie Pie Horseface, a bouncing baby boy with his mother's eyes. We'll see how he turns out, looks-wise.
Ralphie Pie's a toddler now! But that doesn't mean he's too old for a mother's love. Turns out he got dad's ears. There are worse traits he could have inherited.
After lots of nurturing from his mother and father, Ralphie Pie grew into a disturbing looking child!
But he's actually not that bad if you disregard the ears.
Ralphie Pie was fun and all, but Marisa wanted another child to emotionally screw up, so it wasn't long before she and Bliff tried for another one! After several attempts, the desired results were finally achieved. Here is Marisa's fat, pregnant body. Eating.
And it's a girl! I named her Popodoken Horseface. I feel that this is symbollic of something or other.
After just three short days of babyhood, Popodoken grew into a toddler! Poor Anne was on the phone with me when the transition occured, and she was privy to about two solid minutes of unexplained laughter. As much as I like my goal of turning ugly sims into gorgeous sims, I think it would be hilarious to make Popodoken the heir. I mean, MAN.
Now that you know the story (which was riviting, was it not?), it's time for YOU, the viewing audience at home, to vote on who you think I should use as the heir*!
Which of these beautiful works of art should continue the Horseface bloodline?
Neither one, please force them to have more babies!
Oh, and just in case you're interested, my current score is still 4.
*Everytime I refer to, or read someone referring to, a sim child as "The Heir", my mind automatically tacks on, "...of SLYTHERIN?? HAHAHAHHAHA" with the laughter and everything.
Just so you know.