I FINALLY FOUND OUT WHAT THE FUCK "THE THING" IS, AND I'M GOING TO TELL EVERY FUCKING PERSON IN THE WHOLE WORLD (WHO READS MY LJ) SO THEY WILL NOT SUFFER AS I HAVE.
"The large sign overhead reads, "The Thing--What is it?" It appears to be a mummified human, dirt brown, partially wrapped in crumbling fabric. It is displayed, prone, in a short, glass-topped, cinder-block case. Its legs are disproportionately long and thin. Its lap is covered by a straw basket. A few of its ribs have been exposed. It holds what appears to be a mummified infant or, more likely, a doll. Displayed elsewhere in this building are a fringe-topped surrey, an old sewing machine, an iron pot, some old tables, a mismatched bedroom set, more painted driftwood, a few saddles and a partial dummy of a man in some sort of terrible agony. "This statue showing a man being tortured was located in Italy," says the sign."
ALSO: MORE INFORMATION ABOUT "THE THING" THAN YOU EVER WANTED TO EVER KNOW EVER.