Your Face (kandigurl) wrote,
Your Face
kandigurl

Cycles of Self-Respect and Self-Neglect

I haven't been posting too much recently because I haven't been in the best of moods, but I've felt that if I'm trying to post stuff that makes other people feel good, I should probably feel good myself.


(source)


Unfortunately, the truth is, I've been in something of a slump. I haven't been going to yoga, I've been eating lots of ice cream, and I've been spending hour after hour locked in front of my computer watching Project Runway on Hulu. (By the way, I'm officially out of Project Runway episodes to watch, does anyone happen to have seasons 1-6 on DVD that I could borrow and watch obsessively?)

I'm getting dizzy spells when I stand up and I've broken out in my yearly summer rash. I'm a non-stop itch machine. Green and I are trying to move out of our apartment and all I want to do is lie on the floor and play Animal Crossing. (That's not true, all I want to do is lie on the floor and watch Project Runway. But I'm out.)

In addition, I've noticed my waking temperatures (which I've been tracking every morning since going off the pill) are extremely low, in the 95 - 97 degree range. This could be a sign of thyroid issues, which might explain my dizzy spells, my rash, and why I'm lethargy-prone. I really don't want to get it checked out, though, because I'm terrified of a positive diagnosis, and I do not want to be on thyroid medication.

The tipping point came yesterday, when I broke down in a fit of tears for no discernible reason.

And all this time, I'm thinking, "I should really blog about something," but I've been avoiding blogging about my miserable mood because Jessica Mullen recommends only blogging about what you want more of, and I certainly don't want more of my miserable mood. The "post-what-you-want" method works in theory, except for the fact that avoiding posting because I'm not in a great mood is just making me feel worse, and less authentic.



The truth is, I am a cyclical being. Ever since I started to be more health conscious, I've gone through cycles of being super on top of things and feeling great, to lying in slumps of absolute misery. It happens. I think it's almost worse to get my hopes up thinking THIS TIME it will be permanent, because then when I fall off the wagon, I spend extra time beating myself up about the fact that I'm not being healthy like I know I should (and can) be. Which sets me back even further.

So my new motto, which I'll repeat once more, is: IT HAPPENS. There are times when I let my health slack and I pull inward, staying home more than I go out. It happens, and I know I'm not the only one it happens to, either. So perhaps reading about my current temporary setbacks might make someone else feel less guilty about their own, because I think it is natural to be cyclical. It can't be summer all the time, there has to be winter to balance things out.

Learning this stuff is a lifetime journey. Living healthfully, especially in a society that promotes dis-ease and quick fixes, is tough.

The good news, however, is that the more years I spend learning about health, the shorter my slumps get, and the longer my good stretches last. If nothing else, I can look forward to the fact that it can only get better from here. Not only that, but because of how much I've learned in the past, I know exactly how to fix it.


(source)


My constant search for curing the problem and not the symptoms will never end. When I get to the point where I feel so bad that I know it's time to get back on track, I ultimately find articles or books that point me in the right direction. This time, I'm giving cutting out sugar another shot. Five years ago, I did it for a month, but I ate lots of fruit and honey and felt miserable the entire time. It turns out that honey and fruits are just as bad for your system as refined sugar.

The stars seem to be aligning on this one: I know it's sugar that's slugging me down, and I've been reading Sarah Wilson's "I Quit Sugar" series on her blog for tips and support. Incidentally, Sarah Wilson also blogs about naturally healing and living with auto-immune disease (which includes thyroid issues).

The icing on the cake: A friend of mine on Facebook announced that she's about to start her own 60 Days Without Sugar Challenge, and would anyone care to join her? Well, I love me a good challenge (and this one comes with a prize for the winner! A $25 gift certificate to Amazon.com, heck yes!), so I've signed up. The challenge starts July 6th, but I've already started, because I'm sick of feeling terrible. If anyone else wants to try this with me, check out Sarah Wilson's blog and we'll rock this out.

During slumps, it's important to remember that they are only temporary, and that you have the power to get yourself back on track. At the same time, it's just as important not to beat yourself up. We are human beings after all, and if the worst thing we're doing to ourselves is having a few pints of ice cream and sleeping late for a month or two in between long stretches of honoring our bodies, I'd say we're doing pretty well.
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