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Monday, November 30th, 2009
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4:50 pm - I HAZ WON A NANOWRIMO AGAIN!!!
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HOORAY!!!!!!!!!!! Now to get on with the rest of the day. :)
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1:08 pm - LJ Idol - Topic 6 - Sunrise
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"Sun
Soon, you'll be okay
Sun
Soon, you'll be okay
And it makes me smile
Because I'm on my way"
-"It's the Sun", The Polyphonic Spree
I really like that song. I really like The Polyphonic Spree. Chances are, if you replied to this and told me that you liked them a lot, too, I would respond with something like, "ZOMG BEST FRIENDS FOREVER."
Why is that?
I've thought a lot recently about high school and high school relationships. Why has it become harder to find friends like the ones I had in high school? Ones I can goof off with and act crazy around and nothing else matters? The reason is because we're not in high school anymore, number one. We've got other stuff to worry about besides passing or failing a math test, and whether or not we can get our room clean in time to go to the dance. We've got Big Kid problems now.
And the other thing is that when we were in high school, a lot of friendships were forged because we liked the same thing, the same music, the same bands.
"Everybody's looking for a blue sky
Searching for an answer on a satellite
I know that there's got to be a blue sky out there to see
A blue sky waiting for me"
-"Blue Sky", Hanson
I met one of my best friends because we both loved Hanson. At a time when Hanson was the epitome of uncool, I'd learned to hide my obsession in an attempt to avoid getting teased or mocked. But finding someone else who liked them as much as I did opened this whole new world. Here's someone I could be myself around! We both liked this band, so in some small way, we were connected. We were the same.
You find those links, and you cling to them. Clearly, we think the same, because we are both hearing the same songs, the same words, the same music, and it speaks to us. We share this because it's something we both feel, and we both feel it deeply.
"Die Sonne scheint mir aus den Händen
Kann verbrennen kann euch blenden"
(The son shines out of my hands
It can burn and blind you)
-"Sonne", Rammstein
But here's the problem with that logic. Everybody hears things differently. Everybody feels things differently. Everybody interprets things differently. You and I could hear the exact same song, and feel deeply moved by it. But the song I'm hearing takes me back to childhood, playing with my toys, or maybe even to a time before I was born, where I imagine things were better. You, on the other hand, hear the way your lover makes you feel, or the warmth of a fire in the winter.
It's not that any one interpretation is right or wrong. It's that they are all different. In high school, we were so eager to cling on to what makes us the same. What makes us the same bonds us, makes us stronger, and no one can take it away. We now have something to fight with, something and someone to protect us from those who wish us harm, even if that something is that we both really dig "MMMBop".
I'm still in touch with that girl from high school, but we're not the friends we used to be. Now that we're older, we've learned how to stand up for ourselves. Our new friends have their own issues to take care of, their own lives to control, and it's cool if we both enjoy "Poker Face", but that's not going to forge anything powerful and deep between us. Maybe we will both smile when it comes on the radio. But we have to learn how to love ourselves, and be our own strength, and love our own music. That way we can form bonds embracing each others' differences, and not feel afraid to sing out on our own.
"And it makes me smile
Because I'm on my way...
(This post has been brought to you by ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/community.gif) therealljidol™)
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12:46 am - TODAY I HACKED MY FINGER OFF*
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Okay, no I didn't. But I did accidentally slam it into the flower cutter blade at work. I was too freaked out to see how deep it was, I just ran straight for the Neosporin, Band-Aids and the sink, and Band-Aided that shit up as quickly as possible. And then I glanced suspiciously at the flower cutter the whole rest of the day.
Then I came home to write, because I'm so super freaking behind on NaNo. I wrote 7,120 words with my heavily bandaged finger. I mean, I have FOUR BAND-AIDS on this sucker. FOUR. On the tip of my finger.
Anyway, I wrote all the words, and I was very grateful for the cushion the Band-Aids provided. I never realized how many "S"s and "W"s I typed, as those are the letters I type with the hurt finger.
OKAY NOW HERE IS THE ICKY PART. When I finished with all of my typing, surfed YouTube a bit, checked e-mail and OkCupid, I then looked at the keyboard. TO FIND THAT THE "S" AND "W" KEYS WERE KINDA BLOODY.
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEW.
*Today is not the first time I have done something horrible to my finger! Back in 2003, when I was working on a dress for a friend of mine, I actually drove the needle from the sewing machine all the way through my finger. I could have sworn I made an lj post about this, but I went back and checked, and there is none. There's posts about starting the dress and finishing it, but none about the horrific finger stabbing. WELL, IT IS HERE NOW, I GUESS, JUST SIX YEARS TOO LATE.**
**God, I've had a LiveJournal forever.
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| Tuesday, November 24th, 2009
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7:21 pm - Strings...
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I feel like the longer I'm in one place, the more days that pass that I don't actively do anything to push myself out of my comfort zone, the more stuck in that comfort zone I become. Like everything I do, acquire, anything that detracts from my goals, is a string that ties me down.
Having a job I have to commit hours to is a string. Having this apartment is a string. All of the crap I have in it, that I should be clearing out, that I should be throwing away, each one is a string. My own tendency towards laziness and procrastination are big, thick strings. Attitudes of bitterness and anger, strings. Commitments I make to other people, they are all strings.
I have a tough time cutting through my own strings. I take a certain comfort in them. My strings build a structure that I'm familiar with. It almost becomes a place where I feel bad if I cut a string. As if I've given the strings life, breath, a pulse, and cutting them is killing them.
I look at the people I admire, my heroes, and I'm sure they have their own strings. But they are a lot better at loosening those strings, re-tying them where they need to, and just plain letting them go when they don't. They are not mired down in cables an inch thick, they are buoyed up by the balloons they tie to the ends of their strings. (Okay, so maybe I looked at my UP poster for help on that metaphor.)
The point is, I'm getting too comfortable. And it needs to stop. I need to keep my forward momentum going, I need to sort through my strings and determine which ones can stay and which ones should go. It's time to get out of the comfort zone and keep pushing on.
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| Monday, November 23rd, 2009
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2:29 pm - New Moon, Hooping, Working, Writing, Etc...
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NEW MOON!! So I saw New Moon again with my little sister. It's...still not bad. I think it's just because it's such a pretty movie, and they manage to roll the plot along nicely. For example, the, what is it, two chapters that Bella's on her way from Forks to Volterra, they condense into one lovely five-second shot of a plane flying in the sky. But the actors are all beautiful (even the stupid-looking vampires), the sets are beautiful, the effects are beautiful, and the music is beautiful. And the acting didn't suck that bad this time. All I can say is, Stephenie Meyer really lucked the crap out on getting some skilled people to bring her terrible story to life.
WORK!! Last week I was sick in bed for three days, then I worked sixty hours in seven days, so having a few days to re-cooperate has been fantastic. I am getting back to working out, attempting to clean, writing, getting stuff done, etc. I'm enjoying my job, other than the fact that it takes up so much of my day, it's not bad! I get to work with flowers, which, when they're not stabbing me with their stupid thorns, are quite pretty and forgiving.
HOOPING!! On my lunch break yesterday, I went to a local park to spin the hoops around. I played for maybe forty minutes or so, and when I was wrapping up, some folks came up to me and were like, "That's amazing! We've been watching you, you're incredible!" It's always a boost to me when people are watching me practice and they're still impressed. ;) I gave them my website (which is http://www.jess-spins.info, by the way!) and told them I teach classes if they were interested, and gave them some info on why big hoops are better than Wal*Mart hoops.
WRITING!! I made it to 25K on my NaNo yesterday! The sad part is it took up the entirety of my evening, almost. I wrote just over 5K to get there. I'm pretty behind, but I'm not worried about not finishing. I just need a few days of hardcore writing to catch up, and I'll be back on track, maybe even finished early! WE'LL SEE.
THAT'S ALL FOR NOW!!
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| Saturday, November 21st, 2009
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3:57 pm - Forgive me, LJ, it has been so long since my last real post...
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So I've noticed something. It used to be that when I had something exciting happen to me, I would post to my LJ about it, and I'd sort of expect this general knowledge dump into my friends' collective brains, given that they would all read my post and therefore automatically know what was Up With Me, so to speak.
Things have changed. I no longer do this with LJ. I now do it with...*gulp*...Twitter*.
WHEN DID I TURN INTO A TWITTER FREAK? I blame John Green. If it weren't for him tweeting about live shows, I would have never had the desire to obsess over Twitter the way I do. Then I added Kevin Smith and Amanda Palmer, and it was all downhill from there. I tweet a lot. A lot.
But my oldest and dearest Internet friend, ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) opaleyes, does not use Twitter. She, in fact, HATES Twitter. So she does not get the collective headdump that everyone else who follows me gets! She has NO CLUE what's going on with me! I have to tell her everything that's going on.
So here's the deal. In an effort to a) get back in touch with my beloved LJ, which I paid a crapton of money to make permanent, and b) keep Nikki and anyone else who abhors Twitter up to date with my VERY EXCITING goings on, I am going to go back through my tweets every day and turn them into an LJ post.
SO HERE'S WHAT'S BEEN UP WITH ME.
Number one, I went to see the New Moon midnight release with gutterballjen, sparklyaria, and auracel. Now, I go to the midnight releases of these movies because I have the sick compulsion to watch them, they make me laugh, okay??? But if I'm going to pay money to see it, I want to see it in a theater full of a hundred screaming fangirls. It's just more fun that way. I love taking in the crazy. I'M WEIRD, OKAY??
So we doused ourselves in obscene amounts of glitter, donned tiaras and pajama pants, and strutted our way into the theater to watch. (Okay, I strutted, and then auracel told me to stop.)
My shameful admission is that I actually quite liked this movie. I mean, Bella and Edward still have the most dysfunctional relationship in the history of modern literature, and they are still godawfully boring, but the director (NOT the same director as the first movie, THANK GOD) did a good job of translating the book from page to screen without making me want to fall asleep or die from boredom. IMPRESSIVE. Also, Dakota Fanning is a vampire. DID NOT KNOW THAT. I find this awesome.
Last night, I went to go see Chandler Nash, former member of the Bella Cullen Project, in one of her first solo performances. This girl has an awesome voice, I highly recommend checking her out (some of her songs will automatically play when you visit her website, fair warning, same goes for the BCP website).
It was in a battle of the bands setting, so she got to follow some loud, metal-type screaming acts. I found this hilarious, but was also kind of worried for her. She did an awesome job, though, and played two songs I'd never heard before. Plus the other two girls from the BCP were there, singing along with some of the modified BCP songs. In between one of the songs, some dude called out, "You sing really well, just so we're clear." IT WAS SO ADORABLE.
Plus, her mom recognized me from other BCP shows and was really happy I came. She gave me a free cd. It was only three dollars, so I was prepared to actually pay for it and support Chandler, but her mom was like, "No, no, take it! You've been so supportive of her, I saw you joined her mailing list and everything!" Her mom is so freaking sweet. So I got a free cd.
I ALSO got FOUR NEW MOON POSTERS. For free. Because apparently she'd performed at a movie theater for a midnight showing (did not know that, or we would have tried to go to her theater, I'm sure!), and they gave her a bunch of free posters. I'm giving one to my little sister, but the other three are MINE, there's an awesome one of the Volturi. Despite my complete lack of interest in the book Volturi, I really dug Movie Volturi. DAKOTA FANNING. DAKOTA. FANNING.
Okay, that's it, this post is long enough. Will make an effort to post every day again!
*I'm kandigurl on Twitter as well, if you don't already follow me.
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| Thursday, November 19th, 2009
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1:21 am - IMPORTANT POST ABOUT CHRISTMAS
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So I keep meaning to make this post and forgetting, and I'm thinking about it now so I'm doing it now.
Christmas is coming. The goose is getting fat. I don't know about you, but I'm broker than crap. Last year, I spent a lot of time and effort trying to make/get gifts for everyone I cared about, and I ended up dissolving in a fit of stressed out tears. I don't really want to do that again this year, so I'm not going to get gifts for anyone for Christmas.
This doesn't mean I don't love you! It means I'm broke, damn it, and I can show you I love and care about you in other ways, like spending time with you.
I also am not expecting anything for Christmas from anyone. I'm trying to clear clutter and unnecessary items from my home (it's an ongoing process), and while I will always appreciate the thought of a gift, I don't need something that is being given out of an implied obligation. You are free of your obligation to get me anything for Christmas. :)
IF you are a CRAZY PERSON who wants to spend money on me anyway, I will point you in the direction of my Wishpot Wishlist. You may note that I have Whole Foods gift certificates listed. Right now, the toughest thing for me is not having money to buy good, healthy food. If you feel like you still want to get me something for Christmas, get me a Whole Foods gift card! I'd be happy with anything on that wishlist, but food is priority number one right now.
Anyway, that's about it. The holidays are supposed to be about all that warm, gooey stuff that's in our hearts anyway, right*?
*Not blood. That other stuff. Love?
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| Wednesday, November 18th, 2009
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8:08 pm - LJ Idol - Topic 5 - Bearing False Witness
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"I swear I had about four millionty hours of homework last night!"
I was a teenage exaggerator.
"He was the hottest guy in the entire known cosmos!"
"I'm so hungry, I'm going to buy thirty-six pizzas and eat all of them."
Technically, none of these statements were true. But me, I was just trying to make you aware of how extra true they were. I wasn't the only one, either. My friends and I exaggerated all the dang time. The stupid part is how we didn't even realize it until somebody's mom pointed it out to us.
"You know, I don't believe that you will really and truly buy and eat thirty-six pizzas. I think perhaps you are stretching the truth."
It's ridiculous how big a revelation this was to me. Did I really exaggerate that much?
"If you give me a piece of gum, I will love you until the universe implodes in on itself!"
Yes. Yes I did. Because I found it hilarious, and I always felt that the point needed an extra bit of belaboring.
"I hate history so much. I want to find the guy who invented history and kill him. It makes me want to stab my face off with a spork."
You know, I don't think I actually wanted to stab my face off with a spork. But I really did hate history.
How much exaggeration does it take to turn the truth into a lie?
"I can't come to the party Saturday, I've got seven thousand papers to write."
Is it really that hard to just speak the truth?
"My backpack is breaking my back. These textbooks weigh about the same as a herd of elephants carrying anvils."
No, it's not, it's just not as funny.
And I mostly said these things to amuse myself.
"If this period doesn't end soon, I'm just going to throw the teacher out the window and leave."
I will admit, though, that I started catching myself and toning it down after the extreme amount of my exaggeration got pointed out to me.
Now that I'm all growed up, I don't do it so much anymore.
......That is an epically horrendous lie.
Thank you for reading the most interesting and thought provoking entry you will EVER ENCOUNTER. Have a lovely day!
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| Tuesday, November 10th, 2009
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9:18 pm - LJ Idol - Topic 4 - "Who's That Trip Trapping Over My LJ?"
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Oh, it's you. Don't worry. You can stay. I like you fine. It's that other guy, you know the one, if you see him lingering around here, you can tell him to get the hell off my lawn.
...Oh, who am I kidding? You can both stay. The truth is, I write in my LJ because I want it read. I want people to be moved by my words enough to leave a comment. I want people to look at my entries and go, "Man, that kandigurl is one clever lady, I think I'd like to tell her exactly how brilliant she is! What a lucky thing that there's a "Leave a Comment" button right at the bottom of this post!"
Yup. I'm a comment whore. Guilty as charged. I'm loving the crazy amounts of comments I'm getting from these LJ Idol posts. Makes my comment whorish heart sing song upon song of the praises of LJ. I mean, I'm probably taking a risk this week by not writing about the exciting world of sexual ethics, but you know what? My mom reads this. So I'm not going there. Not this entry, anyway.
I have had this sucker since 2001 and I have never, not once, in my entire span here on LJ, considered going Friends Only. I never do friends cuts. I don't have a troll hiding under my posts waiting to eat up innocent passers-by who leave comments. Rather, I have Frank the goat on my side ready to kick the shit out of any trolls that may wander in. (I've had 'em. I blocked 'em.)
The truth is two-fold. Number one, the obvious one, the one I've already stated, is that I love the attention. I love writing posts that get read and commented on. That feeling that my inner dialogue is good enough that someone else out there feels compelled to take a few seconds out of their life typing up a response.
But the second part of it? That's the tricky part. The part I try to ignore, but is certainly there. The idea that really and truly, my posts aren't interesting enough for anyone to give a crap. That I'm not interesting enough for anyone to give a crap. I've got friends (both on LJ and in real life) who simply exude awesome, who garner hundreds of friends without really trying. It's like people just find them, friend them, and stick around to watch the awesome.
Me? I'm a faker. I write these posts in the hopes that you'll see past the laziness, the slob, the procrastinator, the endlessly tardy, the embarrassingly forgetful, and find something different. Something awesome. Something that makes you want to stick around. Because I want you to stick around, even during the times when I'm not so awesome. Even if I don't know you. Even if we've only met because you sent some pixels through the Internet and I read them here on the other side.
That's why I'll never hang a lock on this door. I need that bridge to other lives, to other people, to feel like I'm good enough, smart enough, and gosh darn it, people like me. I bet I'm not the only one, either. Hell, why else are we participating in this contest? We want people to take the time to read. We want people to care. We want people to comment.
So pull up a seat, friend! Hang out a while! Go back and read old entries if you want to! I'm really an interesting person to know, I swear it, just let my LJ show you...
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12:22 am
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I have DOUBLED my NaNo word count today! I'm still behind, but it's looking less horrifying. Another day like this tomorrow and I could be caught up and then some. We'll see...
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| Monday, November 9th, 2009
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3:06 am - KEVIN SMITHHHHHHHHHHHHH
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Really? I only have one Kevin Smith related icon? Okay. (Not that I don't love the crap out of this one. It's awesome and mrgazpacho made it for me and it's great!)
So Kevin Smith came to Dallas on Saturday and the thing is, because I am entirely devoid of cash monies, I'd resigned myself to not being able to go. "I have all but one of the Evening Withs on DVD," I said to myself. "It can't be much different."
And then my friend Mike (who belongs to one gutterballjen) was like, "Oh hey, I can't go, you want my ticket? Also there's a meet and greet." And I was like, "................UM YES."
So I went with Mike's brothers, and here's the thing, I freaking love Kevin Smith and he was fantastic and wonderful and hilarious and he talked for three hours and if I wasn't dying of hunger I could have easily listened to him talk for another three hours. And I love him. And all I wanted to do at the meet and greet was giving him a big fucking hug for being so awesome.
SO I TOTALLY DID. I was like, "I HAVE NO CAMERA I JUST WANT TO HUG YOU." (Now I really wish I had brought my camera with me, but when I go to House of Blues, I don't really like carrying anything and I didn't have any pockets and the point is I totally suck.) And he was like, "OKAY" and he gave me a big huge bear hug and then apologized for sweating on me and I had to refrain from being like "THAT'S OKAY HERE LET ME WIPE YOUR SWEAT OFF ON MY SHIRT AND THEN I WILL JUST NEVER WASH IT EVER AGAIN" because I am sane like that.
And anyway, Kevin Smith is totally adorable and cuddly and he TOTALLY REMEMBERED OUR BRIEF TWITTER CONVERSATION. I was like, "I don't know if you remember but you asked on Twitter about the British Office and Tim's note to Dawn," and he was like, "Oh, man, that was you? You totally helped us out!" And then he OFFERED ME HIS HAND FOR A HIGH FIVE and I GRACIOUSLY HIGH-FIVED THE MAN. And then he said how crazy it was to meet people on the Internet and then meet them in real life and the point of this story is KEVIN SMITH AND I ARE BEST FRIENDS AND THAT IS JUST HOW IT IS NOW YOU GUYS.
In other news, I took a bye week on therealljidol even though the topic was really "easy" this week, and I'm really behind on NaNo, but I just bought some TimTams from the store I work at now and I'm TOTALLY HAVING A TIMTAM SLAM WHEN I HIT 10K.
Okay, I'm turning off capslock and going to bed.
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| Tuesday, October 27th, 2009
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12:22 am - LJ Idol - Topic 2 - Uphill, both ways, barefoot
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I found salvation in a plastic hula hoop.
It's true. I wouldn't lie to you. I suck at lying.
There's a higher power in that spin, that flow. My sins are forgiven with every push and pull of my hips, my chest, my arms, even my legs. When I'm in a crowd of other hoopers - that is my church. When I'm alone with my iPod and my rhythm - that is how I pray.
( The rest is behind a cut, to spare any non-LJ-Idolers on my fl )
(This post has been brought to you by therealljidol™)
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| Sunday, October 25th, 2009
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7:00 pm - So. Done.
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So here's the deal. I'm done people-pleasing. It never works out for me. If you're destined to end up hating my guts, may as well get it over with up front, right?
I waste a lot of time listening to people's stories about how so-and-so done them wrong, and pledging in my heart that I will never be that person. Then I waste even more time struggling to keep up appearances that I am not that person. That I'm better than that. That I'll never let you down. I'll even think to myself, "Would I be doing this if I didn't want to look better than that so-and-so I heard about?" Answer? Maybe. But probably not.
Because you know what? Fuck. Sometimes I let people down. Sometimes I am that person. Sometimes I'm going to be the one the stories are about, when you're sitting around, after a few drinks, "You won't believe what this bitch did once." Yeah. Sometimes that bitch is gonna be me.
And from this point on, I'm okay with it. I try to be a nice person, but if being "nice" to you means fucking things up for me, forget it. Let's just get it out of the way now so I don't waste any more time.
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| Wednesday, October 21st, 2009
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4:05 pm - Lady Gaga
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So I think I'm going to have to buy the Lady Gaga album so that I can hoop to "Beautiful Dirty Rich", because I'm kind of in love with that particular song. But I can't because I'm BROKE.
DID YOU KNOW LADY GAGA IS A HERMAPHRODITE?? I found this out about a month ago and every time I think about it, it makes me bizarrely happy. Like life can't be all bad if a friggen' hermaphrodite is a super famous pop star.
I'm...ending this post now.
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| Tuesday, October 20th, 2009
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4:45 pm - Blargh.
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Trying to write, and having minimal success. I've written just over 400 words in the past hour. I think I'm going to stop for now, go home and run, then try again.
Bad day, but not as bad as it could be. Work is going well. Want to do some MAJOR CLEANING IN MY APARTMENT today. It really helps me a lot to have someone sit with me while I clean, but I need to get over that because I should be able to just motivate myself to clean on my own. I want this space freaking CLEAN so that I can pull my mind out of funks quicker and put myself in the right head space to work.
Tried to do a health and wellness vlog yesterday but the camera screwed up, and I'm really not in the mood to post it anyway. Ugh, sucky mood, go away says I.
Running will help. My goal was twenty-five minutes today but I think I may try for a solid thirty.
I've got a date with a treadmill!
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| Sunday, October 18th, 2009
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4:28 pm - EXERCISE
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So my mom and I went to her neighborhood "club house" to run on the treadmills there today. I've been doing the Couch to 5K thing, and have done some fairly consistent running over the past few months now, but in the Biggest Loser book (which my mom has because it is her favorite show), there's a treadmill interval workout for increasing the pace. I was intrigued, so we gave it a go!
IT'S HARD. I did fifteen minutes of it, then I was like, "Okay, I'm just going to run ten minutes at my normal pace and call it a day." I did run for two minutes at 7 MPH though! BUT....BUT IT WAS HARD.
Blah blah blah. Feeling really good about myself, though. Back to counting calories, since that seemed to be working and also it helped me keep track of my planner, so I stayed better organized with day to day things anyway. I kind of want to get a planner with an entire page for each day, but I really like the one auracel got me, too. I just wish there were more space to write.
UM. THERE'S GOT TO BE SOMETHING MORE INTERESTING GOING ON THAN THE FACT THAT I RAN TODAY.
*thinks*
I got nothing.
OH! I don't know if I announced it on LJ, but I've officially got a job at Tom Thumb. My first day is tomorrow. I'm pretty excited because I'm sick of sitting on my butt in an office, I stopped enjoying my job at RAZ when they took me off the customer service phones, so I'm excited to get back to doing a job that puts you right there with the customers again. Plus, it's two bucks an hour more than I was expecting to make with a job like this. SO I'M PLEASED. Not a lot of hours yet, but, you know, that should get better when they see how friggen' awesome I am.
MAN THAT WAS STILL BORING.
In case you're curious, since I started counting calories and running (as well as continuing to hoop and and occasionally doing some other exercise-y things), I've dropped down to 170, which is a significant drop from when I was my heaviest (202). Although I think I was more around 190 when I "officially" started paying more attention to my health.
Do you like how this entry went one place, went another place, then looped back around to the first place? IT'S THE BEST.
So anyway, I've kind of been wanting to do a vlog on general health and well-being, from the perspective of someone who's lived a generally unhealthy life and is working on fixing things. Would anyone be interested in watching that? Don't know if I'm actually going to do it or not. Maybe I should try it for a month or so and see how it's going and if I'm motivated to keep it up.
OKAY I'M GOING TO STOP NOW BECAUSE MY MOM'S MAKING ME A FRUIT SMOOTHIE AND I WANT TO DRINK THE CRAP OUT OF IT.
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| Thursday, October 15th, 2009
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7:09 pm - LJ Idol - Topic 1 - Empty Gestures
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"I'm sorry."
Am I only saying it to move forward, or do I really mean it? Do I even know?
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, I made a mistake, I'll try harder next time, I didn't mean it..."
What I'm really saying is, will you please just freaking realize I'm human and forgive me so I can try harder to not fuck up next time?
"I'm sorry. I really am. I'll make it up to you! I'll buy you dinner!"
I want you to ignore the fact that I am stupid more often than I'd like to be, and go back to thinking I'm awesome. I'd like us both to just pretend that I never make mistakes, and perhaps with this shared burger, you will never think of what I did to you again.
"I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking. I had a lot on my plate today. It's just one of those days."
It's not like you never mess up, either, you know. It's not like you're perfect. Why do we go around judging each other all the time when we both make so many mistakes it's impossible to count them all?
"I'm so, so, so, so sorry."
No, I'm not.
(This post has been brought to you by therealljidol™)
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6:49 pm - Heroes
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I wanted to make a post on some of my heroes, and why I consider them heroes and stuff like that. But I think I just want to post this video that one of said heroes posted recently, that's got me bawling like a baby because of how powerfully it impacted me. All of this can be applied to life and not just the hoop.
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1:45 am - Apparently we can vote for entries already!
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But it doesn't really count, it's just a "test of the voting system" or what have you. (This is for therealljidol, by the way!)
If you think my intro post was worth voting for, you can vote here, I'm in the second poll. But given that it's in alphabetical order, I'm sure you would have figured that out. :)
ANYBODY CAN VOTE, as long as you have an lj, it's not just LJ Idol people!
ALSO, do you guys want me to let you know when new voting is available? (Presumably there will be voting for each topic, which will start to happen weekly VERY SOON.) Or will that just get endlessly annoying? Let me know! I don't want to bug you. Much. ;)
(This post has been brought to you by therealljidol™)
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| Wednesday, October 14th, 2009
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11:56 am - Books!
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So there's going to be a story update today, I promise, because I'm working on it right now. I plan to write for another hour and then I have to head up to Tom Thumb. (Because I have a job there, you see. I AM A WORKING WOMAN NOW.) But in the mean time, I keep forgetting to update my Books Read This Year list, so here goes with that:
Book 22/30 - Boy Meets Boy by David Levithan
Book 23/30 - The Realm of Possibility by David Levithan
I really want to read everything this man has ever written, but they're in short supply on paperback swap. They're all on my wishlist, though! Anyway, I liked Boy Meets Boy the best. David Levithan has a way of writing about falling in love that makes you feel like you're right there. He describes it so perfectly, yet succinctly. I'm jealous of his skillz. WANT MOAR.
I'm almost done with Let it Snow by Maureen Johnson, John Green and Lauren Myracle, which I borrowed from auracel when I was visiting. So far it's awesome. There's three different Christmas romance stories by three different authors, but they all take place in the same town and they're all linked loosely to each other. Since I'm a sucker for things like that, I'm really digging it!
Okay, enough talk of books. Back to writing.
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