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Friday, April 20th, 2012
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3:30 pm - Life Experiment?
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What if, instead of thinking of everything I want to do as a be-all, end-all decision that will effect the course of my ENTIRE LIFE, I think of each goal as an experiment? As in, "I'm going to do an experiment and see if I can become a yoga teacher." Then if I do, it's like unlocking a personal achievement, rather than I HAVE TO BECOME A YOGA TEACHER OR I WILL SHRIVEL UP AND DIE.
I wonder if that would make things less stressful, more fun? And prompt me to do more things? If I gave myself little achievements like that? IE: Selling enough hoops to pay my rent. I already unlocked that achievement! Experiment over, world keeps on turning, and now I know that I can.
I thought of this reading Tynan's most recent blog post on where to "set the bar". In general, I find his posts to be 80% preachy, 20% useful, but this one did get me thinking, because he used a metaphor I completely relate to: The amount of books that are published that are basically crap, due to the fact that the steps to getting a book published are fairly daunting and involve actually writing a book. So fortune rewards those that actually try rather than shriveling up in a corner thinking about how hard it would be.
But the thing that stops me from trying to get a book published is not the fear of failing, or the fact that it involves a lot of steps. The thing that stops me, personally, is the thought that getting a book published could result in me being a Writer, and writing would then be my Career. And I'd get saddled with a book contract to write four or five MORE books, even if I didn't want to. And I'd have to lock myself in my apartment, or the local coffee shop, for hours on end every day and devote that time to writing.
That sort of life sounds great when I'm on one of my writing kicks, but as anyone who has known me for any amount of time is well aware, those come and go. I do not want to be a Writer. In the same way I don't really want to be a Hoop Teacher, or a Yoga Instructor, or a Blogger, or any other thing that I love and decide to try to make money off of.
So what if, instead of thinking of publishing a book as a means to a career in writing, what if I just made it a personal experiment to see if I could get a book published? Just one book. Not self-published but real published. And then I don't ever have to write anything again if I don't want to. The achievement would be unlocked, experiment over.
Thinking of it that way makes it sound fun, like a challenge, and takes away all the stupid resistance that keeps me from trying. Because even the times when I DO try, I do it with a specific goal in mind. I'm going to finish writing and editing x because I'm going to sell it in y manner to produce funds for z project.
What if the only goal were to just do it for the hell of it? That's why I did NaNoWriMo in the first place all those years ago, just to see if I could write a book. Turns out I can. Now what if I can publish one?
I bet I could do that, too.
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| Thursday, April 19th, 2012
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8:04 pm
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I wonder if part of the reason I will back away right when I feel like I'm on the edge of actually becoming the person I want to be is because I'm afraid I won't know what to do once I get there.
This was really not enough of a thought to merit an entire post, but it was a little more than I wanted to share on Facebook.
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| Wednesday, April 11th, 2012
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6:16 pm - Quick Gratitude Post/Update
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I went to my first yoga class in almost a month yesterday. It didn't feel like I'd really stopped going, which is the nice thing about yoga. You do it every day for 70 days, you can take a month off and not lose much.
I'm about to go to class right now, but I wanted to post quickly about today because it definitely feels like things are getting back on track for me, and posting about it is helping a lot.
First of all, I am grateful to the people who have been commenting on these new posts. Your comments have been incredibly helpful in reminding me that it's okay to go through crappy times, and that I'm not as far off the path as I might think.
Today, I talked on the phone for about two hours to my very first yoga teacher, the one who basically made me realize I wanted to be a teacher too, about the Bikram/Sunstone dilemma. I am extremely grateful for her input, in a nutshell she told me to try Sunstone and talk to the people up there before making a decision either way, but it seems like whatever decision I make I will be helping people through teaching, and that is the most important thing.
I am also grateful that I have started juicing again. I went to the store and managed to get enough fruits and veggies for a decent number of juices for only ten bucks.
And finally, I sent Baxter from Hoop Path a message ages ago about an idea I had for a project involving him and Hoop Path, and I hadn't heard anything. Today, I got a message back saying he loved the idea and would like to discuss it more when he's in town in May. So HOORAY FOR TAKING CHANCES and HOORAY FOR BEING PATIENT.
It's been a very good day today, I'm sure the juice and the yoga are part of it, I'm sure the posting is part of it, I'm sure making a deliberate effort to steer my life back on its path is part of it, and I'm grateful for all of it.
Now I need to get to class.
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| Saturday, April 7th, 2012
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9:31 pm
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So making my extremely long post of depressing doom the other day actually made me feel a little bit better, which leads me to believe it would probably be helpful to keep posting. At least I am over, for the most part, the depression that was coming from quitting my job too soon. I still have pangs here and there, but I think the bulk has passed.
I also think, despite the fact that everyone seems to feel that a person should really have another job lined up before they quit their current job, that I do not work well that way. I need that time of rebuilding, of being unemployed, to reset and recalibrate, figure out what's important to me, before I go finding more employment. I've never in my life quit a job while having another job immediately lined up, and I've quit a lot of jobs. And you know what? I've survived every time. Sometimes it's tough and crappy and it takes me a long time to figure out what my next step should be, and the money runs out and then I get REALLY freaked out. But this time, even though it's set aside for something else, I DO have $4,000 saved up that I could dip into if need be.
Which is kind of what I want to mull over right now, because I am doing some debating. When I first started working again, my original plan was to save up to take the Sunstone Yoga teacher training. I have never tried Sunstone Yoga, but it's pretty popular in the DFW area as another form of hot yoga. The founders were formerly Bikram teachers, and at their Sunstone studios they teach five different types of classes. I've been intrigued by it but haven't wanted to spend the money to try it out when I could be spending the money on going to Bikram.
Anyway, I was interested in taking their teacher training because it's cheaper and shorter than Bikram, and my thinking was, at least then I'd be certified and I could be teaching yoga and doing something I love while saving up for what I REALLY want to do, which is get certified in Bikram. But then I decided, why not just save up for Bikram? Because if I spend $3000 on another teacher training, that's $3000 I could have put towards my Bikram training (which will cost me $12,000 total).
Well, now here I am, six months later, with $4000. Enough for the Sunstone Yoga teacher training, but not Bikram. So I'm in a bit of a quandary. Should I go ahead and do the training that I have the funds for? Or should I keep saving for Bikram, which would mean getting another job, despite having no idea what sort of job I would want?
I'm really not sure what I should do, or who I should talk to about it. I've tried looking up information and reviews on the Sunstone teacher training, but there doesn't seem to be much online about it other than the main website. With Bikram, I've read tons of blogs of people who have gone through the training process, and read about their experiences, good and bad, and how they fared job-wise after the training. So I have a really good idea of what to expect from it. Not so with the Sunstone.
I like the idea of just doing it and going to a teacher training, any teacher training, but at the same time, I'm wary of spending the money I saved for Bikram on something else, especially something I don't know that much about. One of the benefits of the Bikram training is that, once you've completed it, you can teach at any Bikram studio in the whole world. And there are studios all over America, which means I would have a job anywhere. One of the downsides is that you can only teach Bikram yoga at a Bikram studio (IE: No teaching a private lesson in someone's backyard or anything like that). I think the Sunstone yoga allows for a general certification where you can teach at any general yoga studio, because despite their locations being only in the DFW area, one of the benefits they mention on their teacher training page is the ability to travel.
So I'm not really sure. If I did the Sunstone, I could be certified by mid July, and there's even a convenient break right in between Tier 1 and Tier 2 training where I could go to Hoop Path retreat.
I don't know, I keep going back and forth. I think I might message my first Bikram teacher and see what she thinks. For some reason, the idea of talking to some of my current teachers seems like a sort of betrayal, but I think there are a few I could ask and get their opinions from.
I don't have any doubts that I will eventually take the Bikram teacher training. It has been something I've wanted to do since I started doing the yoga. But I do think that it might be a good idea for me to go ahead and get some form of yoga teacher training done, so that I can at least be doing it, and have yoga as a source of income. Because I feel like I know enough about yoga to be a teacher, but at the same time, I don't feel qualified to teach it due to not being certified.
We'll see. :)
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| Friday, March 30th, 2012
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9:54 pm - LJ is like a cuddly comfort blanket that I can come back to at any time, and it still feels familiar
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...and safe. No matter how long I've been away.
This post is LJ only.
And this post is ( really, really long. )
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| Saturday, February 25th, 2012
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10:13 pm - Month 2: Gratitude
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(source)
For the second thirty day chunk of happiness, I've chosen to focus on gratitude. It's so easy for me to forget that I intentionally chose to have another desk job in order to save up for teacher training. Instead I get stuck in the whole, "Blah, having a job sucks" spiral, when in reality, I could be flipping my attitude around and feeling grateful for the fact that I have a means to fund my dream.
I'm still going to yoga every day, but I decided to add daily gratitude as my next 30-day "layer" of happiness, so to speak. I took some blank pieces of paper, stapled them together, and created a little Gratitude Booklet.
Since I love doing things incrementally, I started the first day by picking one thing I was grateful for (I picked Green). I then went through and added one number on each page, the final page is numbered 1 through 60. Even though I'm only spending thirty days "focusing" on gratitude, I want to keep in incorporated in my daily routine, just like the yoga. So, like the yoga, I opted for 60 days, adding one thing each day. After that, I plan to put together another Gratitude Booklet where I list sixty things a day. My hope is that it will keep me busy the whole day, so that I am constantly seeing things and thinking, "Oh, I'm grateful for that! How lucky I am that this is in my life!", and writing it down.
I'm halfway through, on day fifteen, today. (Which means, if you're keeping track and I explained well enough, that I had to list fifteen things.) I'm trying to list different things each day to push myself to really realize just how much I actually have.
For some reason, this exercise is harder than it has been in the past when I've done it. Usually, it instantly pulls me into the present moment and turns my focus on abundance rather than lack, and I can list things forever. Right now, however, it seems like a struggle to come up with my lists each day. I don't know why this is. On days when I am excited about something, it's easy. For example, when I went to see the Hooping Life in Austin (which was FANTASTIC and well worth the wait, by the way), I filled the page with ease.
I'm finding that I have a mental block that's keeping me from viewing work favorably. It's almost as if something in me doesn't WANT to be grateful for work. Like admitting that work is a good thing will somehow be admitting defeat, or joining the dark side or something.
Logically, I know that's not the case, and that it would be much better for me emotionally to look at work from a place of acceptance rather than resistance, and I'm hoping my gratitude lists will help with that. And if they don't, at least I'll be reminded on a daily basis that I have plenty to be grateful for, and I also have ten more months after this to get to that place.
I hope you are having a wonderful day!
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| Monday, February 20th, 2012
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4:43 pm - The Happiness Project
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(source)
I recently finished reading The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin. The book was my reward to myself for not quitting my job in January. It didn't quite live up to what I was expecting. I certainly liked the CONCEPT of the book (taking a year to explore happiness and what that means to the individual, and how to create more of it), but I really didn't like the author and the things she chose to work on for her happiness project. I read the whole thing (despite wanting to give up because it was making me more upset than happy at times), and while I enjoyed the chapter where she focused on writing and books (clearly her passion, so it made for the most interesting reading), and some of her conclusions at the end of the project, I didn't enjoy her overall tone and default attitude about things. Particularly the way she acted as if it were such a huge task to not yell at her husband all the time. *shakes head*
Regardless, the project is a good idea, and like Gretchen says repeatedly in the book, "Everyone's happiness project is unique." That is very true. I am definitely NOT Gretchen Rubin (I probably wouldn't even be friends with her), but I do know what makes me happy.
I also know that recently, due in large part to working behind a desk, something I swore I'd never again do, I haven't been the happiest person in the world. I haven't been the happiest me I can be, and I know, because I have experienced real happiness, and this ain't it.
( So what do I do about it? )
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| Wednesday, October 19th, 2011
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10:29 am - In Search of the Right Combination
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(source)
A lot of people are constantly in search of the right combination of medication. Which prescription will keep them level? What can they take that will help them be the people they want to be?
I'm not a fan of medication of any kind, you don't have to know me for very long to learn that. I will admit that a fear of mine is discovering some ailment I might have that would require me to join in the search for the best medication combination.
I realized something the other day, however. I am already searching for the best combination for me. I just choose a different form of medication. Right now, my combination consists of Bikram Yoga, hooping, and reading books and blog posts to better understand myself.
I tweak my combination regularly, because it never seems quite right. I also occasionally add running, counting calories, and eating less sugar, all of which are helpful, yet I keep searching. With my current combination, I can get almost to where I need to be, but I always feel just on the other side of that "healthy" fence. The most recent form of healing I'm seeking is called Rolfing.
Rolfing is also called Structural Integration. It's similar to massage, however, the focus of Rolfing is to realign your body in relation to gravity by manipulating deep facial tissue.
I LOVE massages, professional and amateur alike. But what I've always wanted out of a massage is to find out what is causing the tension. I've known for a while that just because my shoulders are tight, it doesn't necessarily mean the issue is in my shoulders. I've gotten massages from a few people who are able to track and locate the actual root of the issue, but those people are very hard to find. Finding the root of the issue is the central focus of Rolfing.
I also believe that emotions are stored in our muscles, and I'm hopeful that Rolfing will help me access emotions I have difficulty accessing on my own. So far, my journey to self-help has largely been without professional assistance. I'm interested to see what comes up when I involve someone trained to notice the things I take for granted and therefore may have never worked on independently.
My goal in combining these different "medications" is bringing my whole body into alignment with my mind, so that the two do not conflict. I think everybody, regardless of whether or not they are seeing a professional or doing their own personal research, is looking for the right combination to help them on their way to their own personal goals. What do you think your combination involves?
In other news, a quick update on what I've been up to since falling off the face of the earth: I got a new job, I got interviews from some awesome people, and I got engaged. All of which I'll discuss in the coming weeks!
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| Saturday, September 17th, 2011
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10:12 am - TWILIGHT WILL NEVER STOP BEING HILARIOUS.
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Guys. Breaking Dawn is going to happen ON THE BIG SCREEN. WE WILL GET TO WATCH THAT INSANITY ACTUALLY HAPPEN IN MOVING PICTURE FORMAT.
I, for one, am thrilled to pieces, and posit to you fine people a theory on why Bella and Edward have the most bland-ass, incomprehensible, "I NEED YOU TO LIVE" relationship ever.
It is thus:
Bella and Edward were brought together for no other reason than to birth Renesmee for Jacob. Who will probably end up leaving him anyway for that other half human/half vamp kid briefly mentioned at the end of Breaking Dawn, and someone needs to write THAT book because it already seems eons more interesting than Twilight.
So anyway the point is that there is absolutely no real basis for Bedward to be a "thing" other than cosmic forces pushing their junk together to create a kid for the dude who gets dumped on the whole time. And who is only driven mad by Bella's insane boringosity because of the unborn demon spawn in her belly.
My book was better. I want to read it again.
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| Wednesday, August 24th, 2011
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11:56 pm - Ask For Help, Part II
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Click here for Part I
"I'll give you all I can..."
(source)
Before I get to far into this, I feel it's important to say just how stressful it can be for me to ask for help. Somewhere deep down, I don't feel like I deserve help to get myself out of my own messes. I mean, things wouldn't be quite so bad if I'd just sucked up my pride and kept my job. Or looked for a new one with more gusto. What right did I have to ask anyone for anything when I clearly couldn't help myself?
(I should mention that Green had also quit his job, and for a span of at least a month and a half if not more, both of us were unemployed.)
I continued struggling through each day, determined to be solely responsible for digging us out of this mess, too embarrassed by my own foibles to even fully reveal the details of our situation to anyone.
( It gets better. )
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| Monday, August 22nd, 2011
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11:31 pm - Ask For Help, Part I
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(source)
Today marked the first day at my new job.
If you know me, you know that work and Jess do not mix. As a general rule, I spend most of my time trying to figure out how to avoid having a job.
It's not that I dislike working. I actually spend the first several months of my new jobs enjoying the work, trying my hardest, and making an effort to impress my bosses. When it becomes apparent, however, that my best efforts receive very little in the way of praise or acknowledgement of my value, my morale begins to drop. When, the first time I try to call in sick, I hear terseness and disapproval on the other end of the phone, I begin to realize just how much my employers actually value me and my health. Read: Very little. When the icy weather comes, the stuff that I am on occasion unwilling to drive through, and I call to ask whether I can stay home, the voice on the other line tells me they'd really prefer I try to make it in, which shows me that they do not care about my fears or concerns, or that they even acknowledge the increased risk involved in coming in to work on that day.
In short, the longer I work for a company, the less important I feel as a human being, and thus, the less effort I am willing to put into my work. It gets so bad that waking up every morning becomes a momentous task, and the drive to work and subsequent eight hours behind a desk feel like handing over my soul for the right to have a roof over my head.
( There have been times when I've happily traded that roof for my soul again. )
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| Saturday, August 20th, 2011
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10:24 am - A Batch of Deliciously Flavored Hoops!
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I got to make a whole bunch of fun custom hoops this past week, I will try to keep the chit chat short and get STRAIGHT TO THE PICTURES since I know that's what you're really here for. :)
We're not in an apartment with a balcony anymore, and by the time I took these pictures it was dark outside anyway, so instead of being beautifully highlighted by the natural light of the setting sun, they are accented by glowing fluorescents on the stunning backdrop of our refrigerator.
( See more! )
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| Wednesday, August 10th, 2011
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2:56 pm - Moar Gratitude
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I think I'm going to keep doing these for a while, because yesterday was a lot better than the day before, and today can be even better with the right attitude. There are some shit things I could focus on, but I'm doing my best to focus instead on the stuff I have and am grateful for.
1. Green. <3
2. I have four hoops to make today!
3. I have the SUPPLIES to make those hoops, thanks to a kind donation from a friend and help procuring collapsible connectors!
4. I've done some cleaning, so our apartment looks a little more open and inviting now. :)
5. I got a call back from an interview I thought I'd bombed, they want me to come back for a typing accuracy test!
6. I have received quite a bit of support from friends recently!
7. I am super grateful for the Internet and social media, which gives us the ability to quickly connect with great numbers of people. I believe in this technology as a positive thing that connects, inspires and lifts people up.
8. Livejournal is currently working.
9. The first Harry Potter book is on its way from Paperback Swap so I can start re-reading the series.
10. Creative Motion and the friends I have made through them.
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| Tuesday, August 9th, 2011
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11:16 am - The PROBLEM With Chips*
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The problem with having a bag of chips* at the ready is that I'm more likely to eat them for breakfast.
*Or "crisps" if you are from a place that isn't America that calls chips "crisps".
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12:41 am - Gratitude 'Splosion!
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I really need to do one of these.
THINGS I AM GRATEFUL FOR:
1. Green. <3 He is my super-cuddly, ever understanding, made-just-for-me rock.
2. We have a fully-stocked kitchen full of food!
3. We are in our own apartment, and we have Internet!
4. I am in good health!
5. I got into early registration for Pottermore!
6. The new term at Hogwarts Elite, and getting to reconnect with old friends there!
7. Megan is moving back to town soon!!
8. I've got two interviews lined up for my new blog theme!
9. My blog has a theme!
10. I'm very close to being done with my Wreck This Journal, so I can start on This Is Not A Book!
There's ten things. Now back to sorting!
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| Thursday, August 4th, 2011
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2:24 am - LJ Only Post Time! I DISCOVERED A THING ABOUT ME AND I WANT YOUR ADVICE. BECAUSE I LOVE YOU.
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Despite my post the other day (which didn't make it to LJ due to the whole site-not-loading-properly-for-a-while thing) about not stressing out so much about self-help books, I keep reading the things. I'm addicted, I think. My Paperback Swap wishlist has become 90% self-help, most of those books involving how to be happy, how to be healthy, but of greatest concern to me, how to make a living doing what I love.
Because, you see, I'm struggling to figure out what, exactly, that is. It seems like I love a lot of things, and my passions leap from thing to thing, and the end of the day comes and I feel like I'll never figure out what it is that makes me want to get out of bed in the morning.
This past week, I had an interview at a job that I know, I KNOW I don't want. I got up at ass in the morning and went to two interviews for this job. How do I know I don't want said job? Because I spent the day in between the two interviews stressing myself to pieces about how miserable it would make me and I didn't even have it yet. I'm pretty sure I botched the second interview bad enough to not get it (more on that in a post coming soon), but the experience has me hitting the books again with vigor.
The books all say to take what you love and do it with passion. I was sitting there reading the intro tonight to a book called Making a Living Without A Job and rolling over what the heck it is that I love and how to turn it into something I can actually do.
I know this for sure, I want to blog. The question has always been, what the hell do I blog ABOUT? At first I thought it might be personal improvement, but given that my own personal improvement ebbs and flows, there would be times (much like right now) that I wouldn't want to blog about it. What then?
I seem to spend all of my free time looking at other people's fabulous self-made careers and wondering how to replicate them. I can't tell you how many amazing and interesting people I've discovered, seen what they do, envied it, and tried to copy it.
IT NEVER WORKS. Why? Because what they do is not what I want to do. So I go and read books, trying to figure out how to do what I want to do. How to figure out what I want to do so I can do it.
And then the answer sort of fell on top of me like a pile of bricks made of duh.
I love investigating alternate ways of living. I love exploring other people's unique and interesting careers. Every time I pick up a hobby, it's either because I want the lives of the people who do it full time, or I track down people who do it full time and immediately decide I want their lives. It's not the THINGS necessarily, it's the PEOPLE.
WHY THE HELL CAN'T MY BLOG BE AN EXPLORATION OF PEOPLE WHO MAKE INTERESTING LIVINGS??? WHY THE HELL CAN'T MY BLOG OBSESS OVER THE THING I LOVE TO FUCKING OBSESS OVER??? The stuff I never blog about because I always thought I was looking for answers in it, when really, I'm just enjoying the shit out of the information? A blog like that could go in so many different directions, all of them interesting to me, all of them open to change when I find something new that fascinates me because surely someone's out there doing it.
I already even started doing it a little with the "Inspired by Awesome" posts, which could have been better if they came from the bend of just celebrating the unique life-style rather than looking for the self-help lessons in the middle of it.
Also, it's the perfect answer to the "how the fuck do I blend the two sides of my personality, the tree-hugging hippie and the meme-loving Internet nerd?" SIMPLE. BY TALKING ABOUT PEOPLE WHO DO BOTH. And since I am a person who definitely lives life outside the box, I can still post personal posts when the mood strikes.
God, I'm such a MORON. This was the most obvious answer in the WORLD, HOW COME NONE OF YOU THOUGHT OF THAT FOR ME?
SO. I've decided this is the direction I'm taking my blog in. I'm looking for a title for the blog, because I suck at titles. So far I've got "What The F**k Should I Do For A Living?" But it seems rather long and not fully encompassing the spirit of the thing. My other idea is "People Are Awesome". I'd appreciate titling help if you guys have any ideas.
I also want to know if this seems as obvious to you guys as it now does to me. Can you think back into my posts and see how this makes a lot of sense? I mean, I spend an AWFUL lot of time making posts like, "GOD LOOK HOW AWESOME THIS PERSON IS WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF WHAT THEY DID SO BRILLIANT I'M GOING TO TRY TO REPLICATE IT NOW".
Okay, I should probably quit typing so Green can sleep without me typing away. But YES. I FEEL GOOD ABOUT THIS AND I ALREADY HAVE A ZILLION IDEAS AND I'M SO EXCITED TO GET UP TOMORROW MORNING AND WORK ON THIS AND...isn't that how all the books say it's supposed to go?
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| Wednesday, August 3rd, 2011
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11:11 am - YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
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User name BronzePatronus186
SO HAPPY
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| Sunday, July 31st, 2011
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12:57 am
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LIVEJOURNAL IS WORKING FOR ME AGAIN.
*dances*
I LOVE TYPING.
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| Sunday, July 24th, 2011
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3:05 am - Mission 101
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On May 25th, 2007, I embarked on an incredibly ambitious yet kind of stupid project called Mission 101.
The idea is, you make a list of 101 things you'd like to accomplish. You have 1001 days to do them. (That's a little less than three years.)
It sounds like a fantastic premise, and it is. You've got a huge span of time to do stuff, and who doesn't love lists of things they can cross off and feel accomplished? It's also pretty handy to have a list reminding you of the stuff you want to do.
But here's the problem I personally encountered with the project: You can change a hell of a lot in 1001 days. A hell of a lot. I found that as I went along with my project, stuff I wanted to do at the start became irrelevant, or my overall goals changed. I also discovered things I wanted to add, but all 101 slots were full. I gained new hobbies (guys, did you know how much stuff you can do with a hula hoop?), met new people, changed jobs, lost jobs, lost friends, all that stuff that proves you're actually living your life as opposed to just stagnating in a puddle of boring. The stuff that's supposed to happen. The naturally occurring lifey stuff.
About halfway through the project I decided if I ever did it again, I would only come up with a handful of things to go on the list, things I genuinely wanted to do instead of things that I thought sounded cool at the time because I was scrambling for another twenty things to get to 101. And I would add to the list of 101 slowly and gradually over the course of the project.
Well, I went and read through some of my friend's posts and saw a few of them are currently doing Mission 101. My original list expired on February 15th, 2010, a day I did not notice passing and did not acknowledge because I'd already given up on my list. Funnily enough, after going back through that original list of things, it turns out I accomplished some of them after all without even thinking about it. Most of my goals, however, lay abandoned. (According to what I actually bothered to track, I finished a whopping ten of my goals.)
Now, the project has its own website where you can create your list, peruse other people's lists, and generally keep much better track of the whole project rather than trying to sift through pages of html code to edit your original Livejournal post.
So I'm picking up Mission 101 again (officially starting on Monday), because I need some solid goals to focus on. For now, there are only four things on my list. I'm hesitant to add too many goals at once, and I only want to add goals I genuinely want to accomplish, regardless of how noble the intent of setting a goal like "lose seventy-three pounds while simultaneously reading every book published in America and swimming the English channel without eating any meat or ice cream" might be. The point for me, this go-round, is to actually get things done.
Things I can cross off my list and feel accomplished. Here's my current list of four.
Wanna try it too?
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| Friday, July 22nd, 2011
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4:19 pm - How To Be Creative (OR: Creation Breeds Creation)
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I like to think of myself as a creative person. This is largely because I have intense respect and admiration for creative people, and I like the idea of including myself among their ranks. Also, a large part of my young life was full of teachers and parents and professional whoevers being all "OH JESSICA IS SO CREATIVE SO WHAT IF SHE'S FAILING HISTORY SHE'S GOING TO BE AN AMAZING WRITER SOMEDAY". So I sort of feel like I have a lot to live up to in the creativity arena.
(source)
UNFORTUNATELY, thinking of one's self as a creative being can invite a whole host of insecurities and neuroses, such as: I'm not creative enough, I'm not creative in the mediums I'd like to be creative in, other people are SO MUCH more creative than me that I don't think I can really call myself "creative".
What does "creative" mean, anyway?
I used my Google skills to find the following definition: "Having the ability to create."*
(I found other definitions but I'm ignoring them because they do not help me make my point and that is what argumentative writing is all about, ignoring facts that don't support your argument. HOORAY!!)
Creativity means CREATING. If you're like me, your creative process might go something like this:
"I want to create something unique and amazing and MIND BLOWING, that EVERYONE will love, and might even make me rich beyond all reason so that I never have to work again. Okay, here we go."
*the thinking begins*
"Hmm...I like knitting and hula hoops and YouTube. Maybe I could make a series of YouTube videos about knitting hula hoops. NO, that is stupid. But people do like things made of other things...what if I made a dress out of candy wrappers? Well, never mind, it's already been done."
(source)
"I could knit sweaters for hula hoops, maybe. But that seems stupid and impractical. Does it have to be practical, though? It's ART! Art doesn't have to make any sense! But shouldn't it at least have some deeper meaning and symbolism? How the hell is yarn on a hula hoop going to symbolize anything meaningful? Because...our lives are like circles...that...wear...sweaters? AUGH. NO."
At which point my head implodes, and I don't end up creating anything.
Then I take a shower, where I usually have one of the greatest ideas I've EVER had, and hop out of the shower all amped to start some new project.
SHOWERS. They are good for your creative process.
(source)
But that's not the point I'm trying to make. I'm not trying to say you should spend your whole life in the shower in the hopes of coming up with the Next Great Idea. (Though there have been days when I've taken three or four showers just because I couldn't deal with the lack of ideas I had outside of the shower. I guess there are worse things to do than take lots of showers.)
The truth is, we all want to create something spectacular and unique and amazing, but getting so hung up on creating the right thing stymies the whole entire creative process if you end up sitting on your ass doing nothing.
I refer you now to my favorite human being on the Internet, Craig Benzine, who discusses originality and creativity:
THE GIST OF THE VIDEO IF YOU CAN'T / DON'T-HAVE-TIME-TO / STUBBORNLY-REFUSE-TO WATCH IT:
"I think a common reaction creative people have to the idea that there is no 100% purely original idea is denial. They want to be the purely original creator of something. Just because there's no purely original ideas anymore, creative people, doesn't mean you should just give up and sit on the couch and shove spaghetti down your pants and watch Burn Notice reruns.
"Once you let go of being purely original, it's actually freeing. You can just be honest. You end up being more productive. And not such a pretentious jerk." ~Craig Benzine
What I'm actually trying to say is, if you're having a creative rut, the best thing you can possibly do for yourself is to let go of the fear of not creating the right thing and set about creating something. It doesn't have to be anything amazing, mind blowing, or lucrative. It just has to be something that didn't exist before you made it.
When you're actively creating something, you're actively using the part of your brain that creates. In the midst of that creation process, the odds for coming up with an idea that excites you increases considerably. In other words, it makes you want to keep creating.
If you're having trouble thinking of something to create, I highly recommend Wreck This Journal by Keri Smith. It's a fantastic source for getting you "unstuck" and pushing you into action. I have a whole entire post planned just to talk about Keri Smith's work, and Wreck This Journal in particular, but for now, if you've never checked it out, give it a look. (Interestingly enough, one of the prompts asks you to SHOWER with the book. COINCIDENCE? I THINK NOT.)
An object in motion stays in motion and an object at rest stays at rest. Until, of course, some outside force acts upon it. We have to be our own outside forces sometimes. If I'm feeling particularly uninspired and sluggish, I'll remind myself of this. I'm not going to feel any more inspired or motivated unless I get up and DO something.
Make a blog post, film something and edit it together, take pictures of stuff around your house (by the way, here's a great post about the idea of using photography to create easily and feel better), make some origami, draw, dance, play. Don't worry about having the "right" materials or making the "right" thing, just make something.
*Funny side note. I wanted to copy and paste the definition I found elsewhere, but when I went to paste, I still had something I'd previously copied saved on my clipboard. So originally, that said, "I used my Google skills to find the following definition: 'http://www.knittinghelp.com.'" Which makes vastly less sense. The end.
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